-If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.-Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
-The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
-Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
-A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
-If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
-If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
-Money talks. Chocolate sings.
-Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
-Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit.
-Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
-Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.
http://www.easterhumor.com/
-The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
-Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
-A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
-If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
-If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
-Money talks. Chocolate sings.
-Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
-Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit.
-Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
-Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.
http://www.easterhumor.com/
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
-WHEN NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU, CHOCOLATE IS THERE.
-SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT CHOCOLATE MAKES ONE WEAK.
-CHOCOLATE IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY, AND YOU DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT.
-THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD FRIEND, EXCEPT A GOOD FRIEND WITH CHOCOLATE.
-THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD FRIEND, EXCEPT A GOOD FRIEND WITH CHOCOLATE.
-IF THERE IS NO CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I'M NOT GOING!
-I WOULD GIVE UP CHOCOLATE, BUT I'M NO QUITTER.
-IF GOD HAD MEANT US TO BE THIN, HE WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED CHOCOLATE.
-IF GOD HAD MEANT US TO BE THIN, HE WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED CHOCOLATE.
quoted by; Daniel L. Worona http://danworona.50megs.com/custom.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~Want to hide your chocolate obsession?:
Only eat during sex. Your groans of pleasure will be mistaken for sexual ecstasy.
Love/Chocolate definitions;
Romance : The art of slowly and seductively unwrapping your chocolate bar.
Diet : Cutting down from twelve to eleven chocolate gateaux per day.
Self Control : Saving half your box of chocolates until 'later'.
Love : A passionate need for another. Many believe that true love is only possible with one chocolate bar at a time.
Unrequited Love : When your chocolate cake just doesn't seem to care about you any more.
Chocophobia : The totally logical fear that the world will run out of chocolate
Affair : Having a wonderful time with one chocolate ice cream while another is patiently waiting in the fridge.
Sex Appeal : Being so 'hot' that you cause chocolate to melt at first glance.
http://www.weird-websites.com/ChocolateJokes.htm
dn
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