Sweet And Salty Crunchy Munchy Bars

A few weeks ago, I saw a recipe in a Kraft newsletter for a No-Bake Granola Bar. It sounded like it might be good but the truth is, the whole recipe - though very simplistic - just seemed a bit bland to me.

I knew I'd have to make my own version!

Why? Well, for starters, I RARELY follow a recipe as given. It is just the way I was taught to cook and bake - to be creative and play with recipes.

The recipe called for Trail Mix. I've yet to find a commercial trail mix that I like. There is always at least one ingredient - such as cranberries or sunflower seeds - that I'm just not a fan of. The mixes also just seem to be lopsided in ingredients - one or two are overwhelming and the rest are barely there. I also prefer to wash my dried fruits to remove any grit from the drying process and also to partially rehydrate before using.  

So, the first thing was to decide what to put in my "Trail Mix"

I almost always have almonds, salted cashews and salted peanuts in the freezer. I also keep salted pumpkin seeds on hand (for topping off some salads). My pantry is also stocked with dried (tart) cherries and either sultana or thompson raisins. These would make a great trail mix - once I tweaked them a bit!

BTW, I buy many of these items from a bulk food store here in Canada called Bulk Barn. They have a huge selection of products at great prices and often have a discount coupon available to print. If there isn't a location near you, try locating another bulk food store in your area. Buying pre-packaged items can often be more expensive (especially if you only need a small amount) and they also aren't always as fresh as buying in bulk.

Nuts always taste better when they are roasted. And yes, even the roasted ones you buy can take on an even fresher, deeper, richer flavour if roasted just a wee bit more!

I've also discovered that when making any recipes that call for crispy rice cereal, that they will become much more flavourful with a bit more roasting. The cheaper store brand versions of crispy rice cereal aren't generally as brown as the well known Rice Krispies brand, but once they are roasted a bit more they are just as tasty!

While I was roasting almost everything else a bit more, I figured that I might as well try roasting the quick oats a bit too! They took a fair bit longer but it was worth it!

Due to timing issues, I had to do all this additional roasting in stages as various items browned much quicker than others. The oats and cereal could go 15 minutes or more whereas the pumpkin seeds took less than five minutes! The almonds, cashews and peanuts were the only combo I could do together!

Yes, it is more time consuming to roast so many of the ingredients but the final taste is more than worth the effort!

The original Kraft recipe obviously called for Kraft Smooth Peanut Butter, but frankly, I prefer Skippy Crunchy. The liquid honey was no name and the brown sugar was bought in bulk.

Since I first saw the original recipe, I've made my version twice!

I've handed out samples to several of my friendly "guinea pig" taste testers and they loved it! The comments ranged from "excellent" to "awesome" and "a perfect combo of sweet and salty goodness"!

Sweet And Salty Crunchy Munchy Bars

1/4 cup sultana raisins

1/4 cup dried cherries

2-1/2 cups crispy rice cereal

1-1/2 cups quick-cooking oats

1/4 cup chopped, salted peanuts (sans skins)

1/4 cup chopped, salted cashews

1/4 cup chopped, almonds

1/4 cup salted pumpkin seeds

1 cup dark or bittersweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup liquid honey

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1 1/4 cup Skippy Crunchy Peanut Butter

Soak the cherries and raisins in hot water for about 15 to 20 minutes. This will soften and rehydrate them just a bit which makes for better flavour. Drain off the water, rinse and transfer the fruit to paper towels to air dry. At this point, I also cut the cherries in half as they tend to be much larger than the raisins. Continue to air dry while preparing the rest of the ingredients.

Preheat oven to 350F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Measure the crispy rice cereal onto the parchment lined pan and place in oven to roast for about 10-15 minutes - stirring every three or four minutes to avoid burning. Transfer cereal to a large mixing bowl.

Measure the quick oats onto the parchment lined pan and roast for about 13-17 minutes stirring every couple of minutes. Transfer oats to the large mixing bowl.

Place the peanuts, almonds and cashews on the parchment lined pan. Roast for about 8-10 minutes or until browned and a rich nutty aroma is noticeable. Transfer the nuts to the large bowl.

Measure the pumpkin seeds onto the parchment paper and roast for about 3-5 minutes. These can burn easily so stir them every minute or so. Transfer to the large bowl

Allow the roasted grains and nuts to cool completely before adding the fruit and the chocolate chips. Stir to combine.

Line a 9"X13"X2" pan with parchment paper - pressing the paper into the corners and well up the sides (Note: I reused the same paper that the grains and nuts were roasted on).

Measure the 1/2 cup honey into a microwave safe 2 cup measure. Add the packed brown sugar and then enough crunchy peanut butter to just reach the 2 cup level. Microwave on medium high (I used level 7 of 10) for about 75-90 seconds - stopping to stir the mixture every 30 seconds. 

When the mixture is thoroughly combined, pour over the mixture in the large bowl and stir till all ingredients are completely coated.

Pour the ingredients into the lined pan and spread evenly - pressing the mixture firmly into all areas of the pan and levelling the top. Don't worry if some of the chocolate chips start to melt from the warm PB mixture. Allow the ingredients to cool at room temperature for about 30 minutes then cut into 20 bars. Bars will still be very soft and a bit crumbly at this point so set the pan in the fridge to fully chill and firm up for a couple hours before removing from pan and serving. (Bars are much harder to cut if you chill first then cut so let them sit at room temperature first, then cut, then chill for best results.)

Bars can be stored in an air tight container or wrapped in plastic wrap in a storage bag and placed in the fridge.

Additional Notes:

You can use whatever combo of nuts, seeds or dried fruits you wish - just as long as the total adds up to 1 1/2 cups. Try to use at least one or two nuts or seeds that are salted. If you are using a smooth peanut butter, reduce the amount by a couple tablespoons and add in that much extra nuts. If you choose not to take the extra steps of roasting the nuts, seeds and grains, the flavour will still be okay just not as flavourful!

Enjoy!

dn

My Summer View

I've never made it a secret, that when it comes to summer, I can't tolerate the heat and humidity. I wilt when the temps get above 25C/77F. Throw in some humidity and I am mush! I don't have AC so I rely on my fans to keep the air moving and try to keep me cool. Living on the north side of a building helps to keep some of the heat out as does blackout drapes for when the sun does enter in late afternoon. 

Though the summer heat doesn't agree with me, I will readily admit that I LOVE the view from my apartment! My apartment is just above the tree tops so the view rarely disappoints - regardless of the season or time of day! From my living room window, I have a spectacular view north to the Manitoba Legislature building and beyond. This vista also extends quite nicely to the northwest and the northeast. 

If you follow me on Instagram and/or Twitter, you've no doubt seen a number of my skyline pics. The majority of those were taken with my Kindle Fire. The picture quality from it is not the greatest. There is a flash on it that, to the best of my knowledge, can't be turned off. This makes for some rather overexposed pics and inaccurate colour which isn't easy to correct with any android apps that I've checked. For that reason, I almost always grab my Fuji camera and snap a few more shots or short videos. Then, I import them to my desktop computer. The videos are put through Windows Live Movie Maker if they need any edits. The pics are checked for colour and possible cropping with Microsoft Office Picture Manager and/or Picasa. I've taken hundreds of photos from my window over the last few years.. 

In the last few days, I've used Picasa to put together several collages of my sky views Today, I thought I would share these and a short video that I've taken through my window over the last few weeks.. 

Blue skies are always welcome. The addition of some light cloud just makes it more interesting! 

It isn't always blue skies though. Sometimes we are greeted with early morning fog. It usually burns off within a few hours. 

It is a rare summer that we don't have some hazy skies due to forest fires to the north and west. This summer, the forest fires in northern Saskatchewan and a few in northern Manitoba gave those of us in southern Manitoba some very smoky skies. There were days that the sun was all but obliterated by the haze. Some evenings, the sunset was only a darkening sky with no view of the sun. 

Though clear skies are favoured by many, some clouds must come. Even the darkest clouds have their own beauty! 

Of course, some clouds can also bring rain.

Some of the rain comes in the form of a thunderstorm such as this one on the evening of July 4.

The sunrises are a bit further to the east than my view allows, but I do get some of the amazing colours from mid May through late July if I am up early enough. Problem is, I am rarely awake enough or coordinated to think of grabbing the camera before 6AM! 

Of all the possible views, the sunsets are by far my favourite - especially if there happens to be a few clouds hovering nearby! I can see the sunsets from late February through early October. Okay, there are also some other high-rises in the area that do block some of the view - or more accurately enhance the sunset! Either way, the view rarely disappoints! 

 

That's it for today. 

There is still much summer view to be enjoyed here in Winnipeg! 

Hopefully, you are also enjoying your summer view! 

dn

More Summer Views

Vitamin Sin!

Late last fall, I came up with the idea for this recipe and made it for a friend's birthday. It was quite tasty and enjoyed by all who tried it - but I felt it needed a bit more work. I've made it three times since and am now quite happy with the resulting refinements to texture and taste. It is quite rich though, so a thin slice goes a long way to satisfying the taste buds! All things in moderation!

The name is a bit deceiving... okay ,,,, a LOT deceiving! But when it comes to chocolate and peanut butter there couldn't be a more delicious way to indulge in a little sin!

How did it get the name? Originally, I didn't have a name for it so I posted a pic. One friend (jokingly) asked what the nutritional contend was. I replied that when it came to chocolate and peanut butter it was all about the taste not nutrition! My friend then said that it was Vitamin Sin!

The name was perfect!

So, why not treat your family, friends, guests and of course yourself to a little Vitamin Sin?

Vitamin Sin!

Brownie Base

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup granulated white sugar

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup margarine

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup light/reduced fat sour cream

1 egg. slightly beaten

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup chopped peanuts. roasted

Second Layer:

200 grams/7 ounces dark or bittersweet chocolate (squares or high quality wafers/chips work best)

1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
1 250 gram/8 ounce light cream cheese, softened to room temp*

1 4 serving instant chocolate pudding mix

1 300ml/10.5ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup 1% milk

1/4 cup crushed peanuts (roasted)

1 cup frozen whipped topping, thawed (I used a light, no name version)

Third Layer
115 grams/4 ounces peanut butter chips

1 cup crunchy peanut butter

2 - 3 Tablespoons crushed roasted peanuts
3 cups frozen whipped topping, thawed

Garnish

1/4 cup chopped peanuts and/or shaved chocolate for garnish

Directions:

Base:

Prepare a 9 or 10 inch spring form pan by ensuring the base and ring are properly aligned and the lock is secure. Spray the inside of the assembled pan with a non stick coating such as Pam.(Note: to make it even easier to later remove for serving, I cut a circle of parchment paper to cover the inside bottom of the pan then spray with cooking spray.)

Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sugar and cocoa powder in a medium bowl.

Place the water and margarine in a microwave safe dish and heat on medium power to melt the margarine. Allow to cool slightly. While it is cooling combine the sour cream, egg and vanilla. Stir the water and margarine into the dry ingredients mixing to combine. Add in the sour cream, egg and vanilla and combine thoroughly. Stir in the toasted peanuts and stir to combine. Pour into the prepared spring form pan and spread evenly.

Bake in preheated 350F oven for 20-25 minutes or till toothpick test shows done. (With my oven, it takes about 22 minutes.)  Place the pan on a cooling rack and cool completely before continuing. (at least 1 hour!).

Prepare the second layer:

Break/cut the chocolate into small pieces and melt with the peanut butter on medium power in microwave for about 2 minutes - stirring after 1 minute. Stir till smooth and set aside to cool.

With an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese, pudding mix, sweetened condensed milk and milk. Combine till smooth. Add the cooled chocolate and peanut butter and mix till smooth.  Fold in the crushed peanuts and about 1 cup of dessert topping into the mixture. (I just estimated rather than measuring). Spread the cream cheese mixture over the brownie base. Carefully spread the mixture evenly and chill in fridge till firm - at least 30 minutes.

Prepare the third layer:

Melt the peanut butter chips and peanut butter in a microwave safe dish on medium power - about 1 1/2 - 2 minutes. Stir to smooth and set aside to cool for about 15 minutes. When it is cooled to room temp (but not hardening) fold in the crushed peanuts and remaining 3 cups of dessert topping and mix to combine thoroughly. Spread evenly over the second layer. Return to fridge to chill for at least 30 minutes.

Garnish with chopped peanuts and/or shaved chocolate. Refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight.

To serve - Run a knife carefully around the outer edge of the dessert to loosen from the spring form pan. Release the spring and remove the outer ring. Gently run a knife under the parchment paper liner on the bottom of the brownie base to ensure a clean removal. Carefully slide the dessert onto a serving plate to cut and serve.

 Serves 12-16.

Note: This dessert can be frozen in whole or in part. Wrap whole or a portion in plastic wrap (double layer) and placed in a zipped freezer bag and store in freezer for up to 2 months. To thaw: Remove the plastic wrap and transfer dessert to a serving plate and cover with plastic wrap. Place in fridge for several hours then slice and serve.

* During the holiday season, you can often find chocolate cream cheese. If you happen to find this, feel free to use it and reduce the chocolate by 1 ounce/30g for the second layer. I've made this both ways and either works well!

Enjoy!

dn

Double Chocolate Crumb Cake

It's been almost 5 years since I shared my "Choco Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake". I had created that recipe when I happened to be out of sour cream and couldn't use my usual recipe. I still use that created recipe but I also wanted to revise the earlier usual recipe.

Well, over the last few weeks, I've gone back to the “Choco Coffee Cake” on page 149 of Company’s Coming Muffins & More by Jean Paré. It is a basic coffee cake base with chocolate chips added and a sweet crumb topping of chocolate and nuts. A very good cake in itself, but as always, I wanted to switch it up a bit.

I've been playing with the ingredients and.... Okay, to be completely honest, I actually started out to make that recipe, but I screwed up! Oops! With a couple of minor alterations to correct my "error" the result actually turned out REALLY good!

Here is what happened: I often measure the dry ingredients for both the cake and the topping at the same time so I don't have to open containers twice or clean a measure in between. I measured the flour for both and put the correct amounts into the proper bowls. I measured some of the other dry ingredients for the cake and then the sugars. I was measuring the cocoa powder and rather than adding it to the topping bowl, I inadvertently added it to the dry ingredients for the cake! 

Well, that 1 Tablespoon of cocoa powder wouldn't have made a big difference but I figured why NOT add cocoa powder to the cake as well? I knew it would need more than that amount to make a difference so I added what amounted to 1/4 cup. I added a touch more white sugar to compensate for the bitterness of the cocoa powder. I added a bit of milk for moisture as the batter was always a bit on the stiff side.

The resulting batter was still quite thick but much easier to mix and spread. The cake baked up beautifully! 

One other thing I did differently from the original Company's Coming recipe was the pan size. That recipe called for a 9"x13" pan but I generally find that cakes bake more evenly in round or square pans. The 9"x13' tends to take longer to cook the center which can make the outer edges too dry or even bordering on burnt. Dividing the batter evenly isn't that hard - just takes a few seconds more so well worth the extra effort in my opinion.

Several people have taste tested and loved the results of my revamped recipe so I decided it was time to rename it and share it here!

Double Chocolate Crumb Cake

Cake:

1 cup all purpose flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1/2 cup block margarine, softened to room temp

1 cup + 2 Tablespoon white sugar

2 large eggs, at room temp

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup dark or bittersweet chocolate chips

1 cup light or fat free sour cream

2 Tablespoons 1% milk

Topping:

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

1/2 cup all purpose flour

1 Tablespoon cocoa powder

1/4 cup block margarine, softened to room temp

1/2 cup dark or bittersweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup chopped almonds

Preparing the Pans:

Lightly spray two 8" round pans with cooking spray such as Pam. Cut 4 strips of parchment paper (or wax paper) - each about 1  -  1 1/2 inches wide and long enough to go across the bottom of the pan and up over the top of both sides. Lay 2 strips in an "X" formation across the bottom of each pan. Cut circles to cover the surface inside the pan. Then lay the circle on top on top of the "X". Set the pans aside while you prepare the cake and topping.

Cake:

In a small bowl, combine the flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cocoa powder together. Set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, cream margarine and sugar together. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Add the flour mixture and combine. Stir in the chocolate chips. Add the sour cream and milk. Beat to mix. Batter will be quite stiff. Divide the batter between the two prepared pans. With a fork or the back of a spoon, smooth out the batter to the edge of the pans. (I find it easier to level the batter in the bowl then draw a line down the middle with a spoon or scraper so I know about how much to add to each pan. I also use a fork to measure the depth of the batter once spread out in the pan - transferring a bit of batter to the other pan if needed - so that both pans are fairly even.)

Topping:

Mix brown sugar, flour and cocoa together then add margarine and mix till crumbly. Stir in chocolate chips and almonds. Divide the topping between the two pans - leveling it to the edge over the top of the cake batter. Lightly press the topping into the top of the cake. (This prevents most of the topping from falling off when cutting and serving)

Bake in preheated 350F oven for 38 - 40 minutes or until inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for about 15 minutes. Run a knife around the outer edge of the cake to loosen it from the pan. Using the ends of the parchment paper, carefully lift the cake out onto a wire rack to finish cooling. Each cake can be cut into 8 pieces - making 16 servings in total.

This cake also freezes well. Once it is completely cooled, wrap the whole cake in plastic wrap and place in a large zipped freezer bag and put in the freezer. It can also be cut into wedges, wrapped, placed in freezer bag and frozen. To serve, allow the whole cake or pieces to thaw either on the counter or in the fridge, then heat for just a few seconds in the microwave so it will taste like it is right out of the oven!

Enjoy!

dn

Luscious Lemon Loaf

If you've ever tasted the Starbucks Lemon Pound Cake, you KNOW that it is dense, moist and intensely lemony in flavour! For some reason, the Lemon Pound Cake isn't available in Canadian locations. We are offered the lowly lemon poppy seed loaf instead!

So, since it isn't available here, I set out to recreate my own version. A Google search, will net thousands of hits and numerous copycat recipe versions.

I've tried several of the recipes over the last couple of years. A couple used cake mixes as a base but most were from scratch. Several were somewhat moist and dense but barely tasted of lemon. Even though most called for 1/4 to 1/3 cup of lemon juice and the zest, it just didn't translate into the finished loaf. To my taste buds, NONE even came close to the real intensity of the lemon flavour that I had enjoyed when I tried the real thing!

I started comparing recipe ingredients and experimenting with quantities and additional sources of lemon flavour. Besides the basic source of a lemon - zest and juice, I also tried varying amounts of lemon extract and instant lemon pudding mix. Finding just the right level of instant lemon pudding mix without the whole loaf falling took several attempts! Admittedly, I had some failures - mostly in the loaf not rising or the loaf falling during/after baking! There was even one that looked like the Grand Canyon in the middle! Oh well, at least all were edible and a step closer to figuring out a better lemon loaf!

After more than 18 months of experiments, I FINALLY landed on a combination that was moist, dense and intensely lemon! The combination of lemon flavour comes from the zest and juice of a large fresh lemon, lemon extract and instant lemon pudding mix. This may sound like a LOT of lemon BUT it isn't overpowering in the finished loaf - just divinely intense! It also included a bit of sour cream for moisture and denseness in the finished product.

There were two other secrets in creating the perfect lemon flavour.

I) Rubbing the zest into the sugar with your fingertips releases the oils into the sugar and intensifies the flavour!

2) As tempting as it will be, Wait a day to eat this after you make it! Once the icing is set, wrap and store it in the fridge for several hours or preferably overnight! This will allow the flavours to blend even more and the flavour will intensify greatly!

Several of my friends are lemon lovers and have been more than willing to be taste testers for my experiments! The recipe I'm sharing today got RAVE reviews from all those who tasted it! Several even said they preferred MINE to Starbucks! I've made this particular version at least 5 times now and it disappears very quickly!

So, here it is! I hope you like this as much as my friends and I do! 

Luscious Lemon Loaf

Ingredients:

Lemon Loaf

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 Tablespoon lemon instant pudding powder*

1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 large lemon or 2 medium lemons (you'll need 2 Tablespoons zest and 1/3 cup juice so pick a large heavier lemon or use 2 medium and store any extra zest/juice for another purpose!)

1 cup white sugar
3 large eggs (at room temp)
2 Tablespoons butter/block margarine, softened
2 Tablespoons light sour cream

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 teaspoon lemon extract

1/2 cup canola oil

Lemon Icing
1 cup + 2 Tablespoons icing sugar
1/2 teaspoon lemon extract

1 - 2 Tablespoons milk (I used 1%).

Directions:

Cut a piece of parchment paper just wide enough to cover the bottom of a 9x5-inch loaf pan and long enough to reach a little above the top of the pan at both ends. This will make it much easier to remove the loaf after it has baked and cooled. Press the strip of parchment paper along the bottom and up the ends inside of the pan. Spray the parchment lined pan with Pam. Set aside.

In a small bowl, combine flour, pudding powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Set aside.

Wash and dry the lemon before zesting. Zest the lemon(s) into a large mixing bowl and set aside. (Note: When I zest a lemon, I go very close to the white pith of the rind.

The pieces of zest are a bit larger because of the zester I use, but also gives more flavour and texture. Also a really smooth skinned lemon will not yield as much zest as ones that are a bit more uneven. I generally get about 2 Tablespoons of zest with this method.) Juice the lemon(s) into a small bowl, removing the seeds. Don't worry if you get some of the lemon pulp in it - just be sure to remove any seeds or outer membrane of the lemon sections. You will need 1/3 cup lemon juice for the recipe so buy a larger heavier lemon, two medium lemons or top of the fresh juice with bottled. But, PLEASE try and use fresh squeezed as it gives a much better flavour!

Add the sugar to the lemon zest in the large mixing bowl. With your fingers, rub the zest and sugar together. This will release oils from the zest that will infuse the sugar with even more lemon flavour. Then add the butter/margarine and combine with an electric mixer till no lumps of butter remain. Add the eggs, sour cream, vanilla and lemon extract to the zest/sugar/butter mixture and mix thoroughly with the mixer - occasionally scraping the bottom and sides with a scraper to ensure all ingredients are mixed in. Add oil and lemon juice, then mix well.

Pour dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and blend until smooth. Scrape bottom and sides of bowl to ensure all ingredients are mixed and no lumps remain.

Pour batter into prepared loaf pan. Bake in preheated 350F oven for 42-47 minutes or until a toothpick stuck into center of the loaf comes out clean. Do NOT overbake!

Allow the loaf to cool in the pan on a cooling rack at least 30 minutes - carefully remove it from the pan and allow it to finish cooling on the wire rack. Cool completely - at least 1 hour. Then peel off the parchment paper before icing..

To make the lemon icing:  Place the icing sugar in a small bowl. Use a fork to break any lumps of icing sugar. Add the lemon extract and 1 Tablespoon of the milk. Stir to smooth - adding more milk as needed to create a smooth thick paste.

Place the cooled loaf on a sheet of waxed paper before icing (to catch drips and allow for an easier cleanup) Frost the sides and top with the icing. It will be a bit drippy along the sides but that can be smoothed out with a knife or scraper. Let it harden at least 20 - 30 minutes! When the icing has solidly set, wrap in two layers of plastic wrap and refrigerate several hours or overnight. This allows the flavours to blend even more and give a much richer lemony flavour to the loaf.

Slice and enjoy! Yes, I know you will want to slice it and eat it as soon as the icing is set (or sooner!) but TRUST ME! The flavour will be even BETTER if you wait those extra hours or till the next day!

*Do not use the cooked pudding/pie version! The lemon instant pudding powder is made by Kraft and available at most grocery stores. If you are wondering what to do with the rest of the package, you can label and save it in a small zipped bag for another loaf or even try this awesome Baked Lemon Cake Donut recipe from MGCC: (I don't have a donut pan, so I made them in mini muffin tins! Each recipe makes about 22 mini muffin "donuts"). You could also sprinkle a bit of the instant pudding mix into a whipped topping to add to a dessert!

Enjoy!

dn

IF There Had Been A Vaccine ... How Rubella Impacted My Life

In the past few weeks, there has been a growing debate regarding vaccinations for Mumps. Measles and Rubella (German Measles). The vast majority support immunization but there is a vocal minority who feel that there is a greater risk of harm from the vaccine itself than benefit and therefore are reluctant or refuse to immunize themselves or their children.

I'm sure that those who are opposed have what they feel are solid reasons for not getting immunized.

However, today, I'd like to share how Rubella impacted my life.

I was born in 1957 - a couple of years before there was a connection between Rubella and birth defects. This was also many years before a vaccine was available.

My mother contracted Rubella in the first trimester of her pregnancy with me. Doctors were unsure of what affects that would have on the baby but mom never considered abortion. It wasn't really an option at that time.

I was born with cataracts in both eyes. These were removed in two surgeries between the ages of 18 months and 2 years.. My left eye was the stronger of the two, but even it was very limited. I couldn't control the movement of either eye but especially the right one - despite having surgery to minimize the rolling/wandering of it when I was 17. Peripheral vision and depth perception have always been extremely limited. I was never able to see well enough to get a driver's license. In 1990, I suffered a detached retina in my good eye and became legally blind. Not long after that, I also learned I had glaucoma in both eyes. I've had more than a dozen treatments/surgeries to save the sight I have left and will be on medications for the rest of my life. (A more detailed 3 part blog on my vision loss can be read starting here)

I've worn glasses since I was about a year old. The glasses of my childhood and teen years were thick, coke bottle like lenses. I still didn't see very well and had to sit at the front of the class to see the blackboard. Teachers often had to help me with printed matter as the texts weren't always large enough or dark enough for me to read.

I was teased mercilessly - not just for my eyes and glasses but often seen as a teacher's pet. My eye hand coordination was poor and my participation in any sports or phys ed programs were torturous and humiliating - not just the performance but the teasing and sometimes unforgiving instructors who never took my limitations into consideration.

Another affect of the Rubella was that my teeth were rotten and crooked. I saw many dentists in my early years. One of which wouldn't allow my mother into the room with me. I was about 4 at the time and was terrified of all the equipment and the noises. I didn't want strangers touching me and making me gag so I squirmed. The doctor was impatient and slapped me for not sitting still. Of course I screamed even louder and still have a deathly fear of dentists! My mother always regretted not finding a way to report that doctor but there wasn't really a way to do that back then. Despite that horrid experience, I had all my teeth capped as a child. My parents tried to get braces for me when I was a teen, but I couldn't tolerate the procedures to get cleanings or x-rays - let alone get a plaster cast made! My teeth are still rotten and I probably should get them all pulled. I know dentistry has changed a lot in the last 50 years but I'm still terrified.

My bladder was another issue. It was about 1/2 the size it should have been, but I had to wait till I was an adult and fully grown before the doctors could do anything about it. If I wanted to go to a sleepover, I had to either take a medication or sleep with plastic under the sheets. Neither were great options for a kid. The condition improved somewhat in my late teens but when I was in my early 20's I finally sought treatment to enlarge the bladder. It was gradually stretched during several treatments over a few months. To this day, I am still prone to occasional burning urination and/or mild bladder infections if I am not careful.

My metabolism has never been great - regardless of diet or activity. I've been on thyroid medications since I was about 19. There are also some allergies - both environmental and food - that can cause some breathing and stomach issues.

When I was about 12 or so, I had what doctors believed was an epileptic seizure. Despite numerous tests, it was never definitively proven but I was still placed on medication to prevent another one. I was finally weaned off of it in my late 20's and never had another episode.

The toe beside the big toe on my left foot was a hammer toe. It made finding shoes a challenge. At 19, I had the toe partially amputated. It made finding footwear much easier but I have to have my toenails clipped by a trained nurse due to my low vision and susceptibility to ingrown nails.

Thanks in large part to my eyes and teeth, my overall appearance wasn't/isn't that attractive. Strangers of all ages steal pained glances or awkward stares. I've been called a freak and many other hurtful names. None of which did anything to improve my own self worth.

In a strange way though, my outward appearance protected me. It taught me that only those who were sincere would ever take more than a passing glance or the time to know who was on the inside. Even so, I'm thankful that I grew up in a time before social media. I've never posted or consented to a picture of myself being put on line. It has been hard enough living with the comments to me and behind my back over the years. I can't imagine subjecting myself to the all too often cruel anonymity of cyber comments.

I didn't have many friends growing up. The teasing even came from those who claimed to be my friend. I learned the hard way not to trust people. I rarely opened up to anyone until my late teens and early 20's. It was lonely but not worth the emotional pain of being betrayed or publicly humiliated.

In many ways, I got off lucky. The Rubella could have caused much more severe damage. I could have been even more physically disabled or even brain damaged.

My parents were well aware of my medical issues but I tried to keep the emotional ones from them - especially from my mom. She always felt a degree of guilt for inadvertently causing my health issues. I never blamed her for it. There was nothing else that she or my dad could possibly have done. They - and my whole family - were extremely supportive and did their best to help me whenever they could.

As a teen, my mom revealed to me that during one of my cataract surgeries my heart stopped. The doctor never told my parents until a few months later as he didn't want to frighten them. I don't remember the reason my mom told me but she stressed how thankful she was that I was still with them.

I never told them this - and hesitate to admit this even now - but I'd be lying if I said that there have never been times that I wished they'd never started my heart again.

My life has not been easy but this is not meant to be a "pity me" story. I didn't have a choice in the hand I was dealt, but I do my best to stay positive. I have survived and am stubbornly independent. Despite the wonderful (often expensive) advances in assistive technology, there are always daily challenges to deal with. I have a small circle of very close, trusted friends and a wider circle of casual friends. It takes a lot to earn my trust but I've also learned to trust my instincts. I find solace, inspiration and strength in music. I express creativity in cooking and baking. Writing allows me to express my thoughts, opinions, beliefs and experiences.

As someone who has lived with disability their entire life, I could never wish it on anyone else. It is stressful, emotionally, physically and financially exhausting!

I try not to dwell on the past or the "what may have been". However, there are times that I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like IF my mom had not gotten Rubella or IF there had been a vaccine back then...  What would I be able to see? What would it be like to live without disability? Would I have been better at sports? Find a career/long term employment? Be financially independent? Had more friends? Would I still have been ostracized?

I'll never know the answers to those questions or many others but I do know that my mother did everything she could to protect her fetus and me as a person. She would never have hesitated to get the vaccine had it been available at the time. She'd have assumed my physical issues herself if she could have.

My experience is the result of Rubella. The current outbreak and discussions center around Measles. The MMR vaccine covers Measles, Mumps and Rubella - all three highly contagious diseases can cause life altering changes and disabilities to those who are unvaccinated.

The MMR vaccine is 97% effective in preventing Measles, Mumps and Rubella. Fears of long term disability due to vaccine have been widely debunked. NOT getting the vaccine leaves you at a 90% risk of getting those preventable diseases if exposed.

As well meaning as the anti-vaccine people profess to be, I believe they are being selfish and irresponsible with their lives, their children's lives and the lives of those who are truly unable to get a vaccine due to medical reasons.

I fear for the unvaccinated and their offspring. You can't foresee the future. Regardless of what you do to protect yourself and your children, you can't stop them from living. You can't live in a protective bubble. Life happens. Your choices affect more than yourself.

Could YOU live with the consequences?

dn