Well my turkey story isn’t as extreme as Dave ’s but it did have its moments!
Believe it or not, at age 53, I'd never
actually cooked a whole turkey by myself before. I used to help my mom get the
turkey ready but she was always in charge of actually roasting it.
What had I gotten myself into!?!
Years ago, I occasionally cooked a small 2-3 lb chicken and made it into
TV dinners to freeze. I quit doing that as I found it was a lot of work dealing
with the bones and I really wasn’t that fond of dark meat. I generally bought
boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Occasionally I’d bake a couple over a batch
of my mom’s stuffing. Simple, ready in about 45 minutes or less and delicious!
Once or twice a year I’d buy a turkey breast roast if I found one at a good
price.
So, a few days before Thanksgiving 2011, I went looking for a turkey breast
roast but couldn’t find any. A boneless, skinless turkey breast was over $7/lb
and I refused to pay that much. I had lots of chicken in the freezer but I was
hungry for turkey. Safeway had frozen turkey’s on for $.99/lb. The man in the
meat department found one in the back for me that was only 3.9kg/8.6lb. I
bought it and stuck it in the freezer.
On the Saturday afternoon before our Canadian Thanksgiving,
I started posting turkey updates for my friends. One of them suggested using a
technique from Martha . Another said
they were going to write a sitcom about my adventure. I asked if they’d be
consulting Stuart
McLean Dave
had. My friend asked if I had a hair dryer...
I informed my friends that I don't own a hair dryer or an
electric blanket. My stove does not have an automatic timer setting, I don't
drink scotch and I haven't named the turkey "Butch"! Despite being an
experienced cook, this was also a Martha
free zone! I was aiming for somewhere in the middle.
Late Saturday afternoon, I took the bird out to thaw. I
didn’t want to use the sink or even the bathtub to thaw it in as I knew I would
need to use both before the bird was ready for the oven. I finally remembered
that I had a decent sized canner that it would likely fit in. I had to put it
in at an angle but it just fit! I weighted it down with a heavy cutting board
so it would be totally submerged in cold water.
Now what was I going to cook it in? The roaster I had
wouldn’t hold more than a 3lb. bird. I used to have a shallow rectangular
roaster that it would’ve fit nicely except that I’d given it away less than a
year ago since I hadn’t used it in over 10 years! I could have used the base of my oven broiler pan except that I’d also given it away as I never used it either.
I guess I could have gone to a store and bought one of those
disposable pans but by then, it was too late Saturday night and I wanted to get
it in the oven by 12:30 or so on Sunday so there wouldn’t be time to go when
the stores opened at noon. I may have been able to borrow something from a
neighbour but the ones I knew who might have something that large would be
cooking their own birds.
A friend suggested I take the turkey to a hotel room... I
wasn’t that desperate!
What to do? I finally decided to improvise by putting a wide
swath of foil in a rectangular pan I had. The foil would hang out about 3 inches on all sides. I’d
set the pan on a cookie sheet to catch any drips.
As I crawled into bed Saturday night, I thought I had
everything under control. Turkey Lurkey was thawing and I knew what I was
roasting it in.
Then it hit me. Did I still have string to tie up the legs?
What about metal skewers to pin the wings? Did I still own a baster? Did I even
own a platter? Curiosity got the better of me so I got up to check. I had the
string and I found a “Chinet” plastized platter in the cupboard. No idea how
long that has been there but I could cover it with foil to serve TL on! Oh well
- two out of four ain’t bad!
Sunday morning I made my mom’s stuffing recipe. Turkey
Lurkey was thawed so I took it out of the bag, removed the innards, washed the
bird and dried it out with paper towels. I laid TL in the improvised roasting
pan and put as much of the stuffing in as would fit. (I’d bake the leftover in
a casserole dish later.) The skin around the bottom cavity wasn’t complete, so
I couldn’t pull it all the way over the stuffing. I used the string to tie the
legs together but also used several lengths of string to pull the legs and the
wings closely into the bird so they wouldn’t burn or dry out. I took another
couple of lengths of foil and fashioned a lid over TL.
I had TL in a 325F oven by 12:20PM . Basting TL wasn’t easy. I tilted the pan to one
end and used a tablespoon to pour the liquid over the bird.
Oh, and one other
thing – I didn’t have a thermometer either. By the way, you knew I am legally
blind didn't you? I have a large number digital one thermometer but the battery
was dead and the old style one I found in my utensil drawer was too small for
me to see the numbers. I’d have to “wing” it!
TL was done before 4. I baked the rest of the stuffing and
also stuck a potato in to bake. Steamed broccoli and a glass of sparkling apple
juice rounded out a delicious meal!
I deboned TL and got about 3 1/2 lbs of meat – 2/3 of which
was white. I kept some in the fridge for sandwiches and a couple of suppers and
froze the rest in individual portions with a bit of gravy added to keep them
from drying out.
It was a lot of work but I’d be enjoying TL for several
weeks – probably till sometime after Christmas!
Would I do it again? Maybe – but if I do, I’ll get a better
pan, some skewers and a baster!
Funny thing is, I am normally very organized and over
prepared for anything I attempt in the kitchen or almost anywhere else for that
matter. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t really thought all of this through or
missed that many things. I guess I could have gotten upset at all of the
obstacles along the way, but I just kept thinking about Dave
and his adventures with “Butch”. I decided to laugh at my adventure.
I laughed a lot that weekend. Besides I thought it would eventually make a good story for the blog!
Merry Humbug!
dn
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