Sunday, December 21, 2008

"Baby It's Cold Outside"

Winter begins at 6:04AM central time this morning.

Really? Are you sure it only started today?

Huh, I could have sworn that here on the prairies, we've been experiencing winter for at least a month now! I guess it was really just an incredibly cold fall with a bad case of dandruff.

Okay, I know that winter only OFFICIALLY started today, but seriously, most of Canada and a good part of the USA has been experiencing winter "like" weather for quite awhile already.

I have no idea why the seasons are divided equally into three month sections. They certainly don't stay very close to that outline. I imagine that Mother Nature was trying to set some order among her four children.

So Mother Nature set out to give each child its own time to shine and express itself. She gave each one three months, but like every other group of siblings, these four don't always play nice. They try to out maneuver the others and throw nasty tantrums when they don't get their own way.

Winter - a cold domineering bully who doesn't like to be made fun of or told to calm down and have a little heart. It likes things cold, crisp, white and also likes long dark nights.

Spring - is a bit of a servant to winter and summer. It always has to clean up the mess that winter left on the way out and also get things ready for summer. It can be slow to start as it doesn't like to go up against winter until it is good and ready to. It is normally mild mannered unless you try to rush it, in which case it can kick up one hell of crying fit.

Summer - Loves her time in the sun and can be very pleasant but has a penchant to blow her stack when she gets a little too hot under the collar. Also tends to favour the company of small pesky insects. She is the polar opposite of winter in that she is very warm blooded but doesn't like having to wait for spring to get things ready for her and leave when it is time for the next season to begin.

Fall - is the most beautiful of the four and loves painting the landscapes with bright colours. The downside to fall is that she can be very passive and is often squeezed out of her space by a late summer or an early winter who is trying to get her to chill out.

Fall and winter are really having a nasty battle this year. Winter has really been pushing the limits - it even snowed in Vegas! As I said, here on the Canadian prairies, we have had snow on the ground for over a month. This past week has seen bitterly cold weather with wind chill warnings issued. We have been hovering around the -30C/-22F range for highs (-40C/F with the wind chill factored in) and the normal for this time of year is minus 12C/11F.

Mother Nature has her own plans for each of her four children, but they rarely listen. I really wish these four could sort themselves out and learn to play nice, but I guess that is a little much to expect from them. They seem to relish the idea of trying to outdo the others.

Oh well, there isn't anything we can do about the weather so we just have to deal with whatever they throw at us.

As for me, I'm taking a cue from an old episode of M*A*S*H called "Baby It's Cold Outside". The 4077th was in the midst of a bitter cold snap and didn't have the proper gear. Near the end of the episode, they huddled around the last working heating stove and had a sing song. The song they sang?

We're having a heat wave,
A tropical heat wave,
The temperature's rising,
It isn't surprising,
She certainly can can-can.

She started a heat wave
By letting her seat wave
In such a way that
The customers say that
She certainly can can-can.

Gee, her anatomy
Makes the mercury
Jump to ninety-three.

We're having a heat wave,
A tropical heat wave,
The way that she moves
That thermometer proves
That she certainly can can-can.

("Heat Wave" by Irving Berlin)

Yup, I'm feeling warmer already!

Somebody, pass the hot chocolate......


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