Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Humbug 2010!

It's Christmas Day and I want to wish all of you the very best of the holiday season! I'm taking a little break to enjoy some quiet time and great food but I'll be back here in 2011! In case you missed it, here again is my Christmas video that I posted last year!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Christmas Videos

Christmas is less than a week away. If you have been anywhere near a radio, a TV or a retail area, odds are that you are pretty tired of the usual Christmas music by now. I've never been a huge fan of all the traditional music although there are a few that I tolerate more than others. So today, I thought I'd share a few of the more unique songs and videos that I have come to love over the years.

I know a lot of people can't stand Pachelbel's Canon as they have heard it at way too many weddings, but I love the piece! I heard this Christmas version by the Transiberian Orchestra for the first time a few years ago and have loved it ever since!

I first heard "Beautiful Star of Bethlehem" on an Emmy Lou Harris album many years ago. I couldn't find that version on video, but I found a similar version that gives a really nice feel. This one is by The Judd's

Years ago, I was a huge fan of The Statler Brothers. They put out a couple of Christmas albums, but my favourite seasonal song of theirs is "I Believe In Santa's Cause"

Holly Cole released a mini Christmas CD a few years ago that contained a song I instantly fell in love with! I used to sing a few bars of this onto my answering machine every year!

A few years ago, The Muppet's released yet another Christmas special called "Letters to Santa" About 2/3 of the way through, Gonzo and Fozzie Bear sing a duet called "I Wish I Could Be Santa Claus". I've always loved The Muppet's, but there is something about this song that just gets me every time!

What's Christmas without a little attitude from my gal Maxine...

Okay, one more and this is the one that I uploaded last year after I took some video of my apartment at Christmas time. I added a special song from Tweety and Sylvester to go with it...

Merry Humbug!


Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Bit Of Holiday Levity!

I’m sure by now, most of you are getting a little stressed out preparing for the holidays. So, in order to help you relax, I’ve devoted today’s post to a bit of Holiday Levity! Granted these aren’t new jokes but hopefully you will have a chuckle or two!!

Types of Clause’s:
- Saint Nicholas is the main Clause.
- His wife is a relative Clause.
- His children are dependent Clauses.
- Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
- Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.

Holiday Riddles:
Q: What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
A: This one will sleigh you!
Q: Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A: Because they are both tail bearers!
Q: Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A: Because they would look silly in plastic macs!
Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
A: Don’t feed it!
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Name That Christmas Carol!
Q: Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle
A: Go, Tell It on the Mountain
Q: The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis
A: Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer
Q: Query Regarding Identity of Descendant
A: What Child is This?
Q: Delight for this Planet
A: Joy to the World
Q: Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
A: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Q: The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals
A: The Twelve Days of Christmas
Q: Array the Corridor
A: Deck the Hall
Q: Bantam Male Percussionist
A: Little Drummer Boy
Q: Monarchial Triad
A: We Three Kings
Q: Nocturnal Noiselessness
A: Silent Night
Q: Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
A: God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen
Q: Red Man En Route to Borough
A: Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Q: Frozen Precipitation Commence
A: Let it Snow

- When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn’t look like a cheap hooker.
- A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush.
- A Christmas tree will stay up late, watch a porno with you, and won’t say, “Hey, look at the size of that one … I didn’t know they made ‘em that big!”
- Christmas trees actually like when you use exotic electrical devices.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have a plastic one in the closet.
- It always smells fresh as a forest.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you watch football all day or go to a strip club after work.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get possessive if you want to let your neighbor use your balls.
- You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you look up underneath it.
- When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get jealous around other Christmas trees.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

- A Christmas tree is always erect.
- Even small ones give satisfaction.
- A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
- A Christmas tree always looks good – even when it’s lit.
- A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
- A Christmas tree has cute balls.
- You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.
- You don’t have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
- A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you break one of its balls.
- You only have to feed/water it once a week.
- It’s always there to light up your life.
- It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.
- It always smells nice and doesn’t pass gas.
- If it needles you, you can toss it out.
- It doesn’t ask you to have little Christmas trees.

Is There A Santa?

1. Santa’s Workload
There are two billion children in the world, but since Santa doesn’t appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Budist children, that reduces his workload to 15% of the total, or 300 million. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 85.7 million homes. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different times zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming he travels East to West. This works out to 767.9 visits per second. So for each household with good children, Santa has about 1/1,000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the presents, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, into the sleigh and move on to the next house.”

2. The Time/Distance Factor
Assuming that these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the Earth, we’re talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles.

3. Calculation of Estimated Speed
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, or 3,000 times the speed of sound.

4. Santa’s Payload
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a mdeium-size Lego set (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as “heavy.” On land, normal reindeer could pull no more than 300 pounds, and even granting that flying reindeer could pull 10 times the normal amount, Santa’s going to need 214,200 reindeer to pull his sleigh. This increases the payload to 353,430 tons, or four times the weight of the “Queen Elizabeth.”

A craft of 353,000 tons, traveling at 650 miles per second, creates enormous air resistance. This will heat up Mr. Claus and his sleigh like a spacecraft reentering Earth’s atmosphere.

If there is a Santa, he’s toast.

Maxine’s Top Ten Ways Christmas Has Changed Due to the Economy..
10) Twelve Days of Christmas now down to ten and a half.
9) "Ho, Ho, Ho" replaced by exasperated sigh.
8) Three out of eight maids a milking on unemployment.
7) Yule log has to last all year.
6) Frosty the Snowman now a depressed, melancholy soul.
5) Letters to Santa include resumes.
4) Tinsel recycled for cash money.
3) People hoping to get coal in case gas gets shut-off.
2) Out of town company staying through next Christmas.
1) Getting a meat and cheese assortment, not such a bad gift.

Merry Humbug!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I Know

I heard this great song a couple of months ago and realized that I had heard it before and knew that I loved it but for the life of me, couldn't figure out where I'd heard it. I didn't know the title or the artist as it was playing as background music on my TV weather info channel. I didn't have time to search for it before I went out.

While I was out, I kept humming the melody to myself every few minutes so I wouldn't forget it. I was also trying to recall the words but the only ones I could remember were “I know” That wasn't much to go on.

When I got home, I opened one of my recording programs and hummed what I could recall of the tune - about 30 seconds - into my microphone so I'd have it, because I knew that once I started listening to other music - while looking for this song - I'd get sidetracked by another melody and forget what I was looking for in the first place! After it was safely recorded and saved as an mp3, I began to search.

The song was done by a female singer with a smooth, clear, melodic tone that was both relaxing and fresh. The tune was light but had one of those catchy old style melodies that you could just picture someone doing a soft shoe dance routine to. It was one of those songs that just made you want to hear more. I needed to know who was singing it and hear what else they had recorded.

I went to my cable company’s web site to see what music service their digital music channels were from. I searched the web for that site and discovered that I could actually see the playlists for the last 24 hour period on all their stations. I knew approximately what time it had played so it was only a matter of clicking on each channel for that hour. Most of the channels would not have played this type of song so I only clicked on three or four before I found it in Pop - Pop Adult!
11:17 "I Know" by Meaghan Smith from her CD "The Cricket's Orchestra”

I then found it on YouTube and the moment it started, I knew it was the same song.

I searched for more info on the artist and then the light started to dawn. She is Canadian and I remembered that I had heard her on more than one occasion on a radio show that I listen to every week on the CBC called "The Vinyl Cafe"

I did a bit more searching around and found that this talented lady is not only a singer and musician but also a songwriter and an artist who studied animation. I could go on and on about this wonderful artist but she has made her own highly informative and entertaining video biography that really explains who she is and how she became a recording artist. She tells the story much better than I could so here is Meghan to tell you all about herself:

I started following her on Twitter and learned she also had MySpace and Facebook pages. Meaghan Makes Stuff is a way for her to showcase her various artistic talents. Over the last couple of months that I have been following her, she has offered her fans some really great discounts and giveaways. For example, she came across a box full of her first CD “Lost With Directions” which she thought was long out of print. Rather than sell them at a premium and make a little extra cash (as many artists would do) she opted to go straight to the fans via the social networks and offer them the limited edition and much sought after disk at far less than retail. She even offered to sign copies for anyone who wanted! The fans (including me) were snapping them up in no time! I don't know if there are any left but click on the link for the CD above and you just might get lucky!

Ms. Smith, has also given away some of her hand made purses and a box of specialty chocolates she received while doing a gig for a chocolate maker. Generous and Sweet!

Before Canadian Thanksgiving back in October, Meaghan teased that she had a surprise for her fans but wasn’t telling – yet! Around the beginning of November she announced that “A New Kind Of Light”, the Christmas CD she had done with Jill Barber and Rose Cousins was once again available! It was recorded and released in 2008. The disk sold out within a few weeks, but has been re-released for this Christmas. All 100% of the proceeds go to the Feed Nova Scotia Food Bank. Meaghan designed the album and did the artwork. The three ladies sing a collection of new, lesser known and traditional songs for the holidays.

Meaghan faithfully keeps us up to date on her performances, artwork and activities. She is keeping it real and really does respond to the fans comments and questions. She even asks us a few questions! A few days ago, she offered a free mp3 download to her fans. Not that unusual as many performers do that, but this was an acoustic version of one of her songs that was unavailable elsewhere. Meaghan has also promised more freebies and giveaways to come!

Here, just in time for the holidays, is one more tune from Meaghan. This is "Silver Bells" from the EP "Wish Upon A Star" . I think this is the only disk of hers that I don't have - yet - but it is on my wish list!!

So, if you are looking to expand your music collection or wondering what CD’s to add as stocking stuffers or put on your Christmas wish list, I would highly recommend that you add this gifted, entertaining and multi-talented artist to your playlists. Your ears will not be disappointed!