Today is Father's Day and that means that dad's everywhere will be opening gifts of equipment/accessories for sports, gardening, fishing and BBQ'ing. There will also be various electronics, books, music and ties! Maybe even a few heartfelt cards if dad is lucky. That's assuming that the kids remember the day! Poor dad almost always gets shortchanged in compared to what mom gets for Mother's Day. Dad also tends to get hammered in the humour department as well. That really is too bad, as dad's are a vital part of the equation in most families and rarely get the appreciation that they so richly deserve.
Well, I hope that they DO get the thanks from their spouse and kids, 'cause they aren't going to get it in this post!
Here then is my humourous salute to Father's everywhere!
One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, "Daddy, you're the boss, aren't you?" Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued "That's because Mummy put you in charge, right?"
New and Improved
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh she said," then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
"Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. Think about your father: He doesn't know where anything is. You ask him to do something, he messes it up and your mother sends you: "Go down and see what your father's doing before he blows up the house." He's a genius at work because he doesn't want to do it, and he knows someone will be coming soon to stop him." -- Bill Cosby
Did You Know? There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year. An estimated $1 billion is spent each year in the United States for Father's Day gfts, but Dad is still paying the bill when it comes to telephone calls from the kids
"Son, don't ever get married. And tell that to your kids."
"We’ll do it the right way. My way."
"Don't ask me, ask your mother."
"Do what I say, not what I do."
"When I was your age.... "
I found all of the following cartoons on a site that makes T-Shirts, Mugs and other items with slogans on them.