Sitting In Limbo

Do you ever feel like you are living in limbo? You know what needs to be done but for any number of reasons you can't do it - yet?

I've been living in limbo a lot lately. There are lots of things I need to do, but plenty of reasons why I can't do them right now.

This isn't procrastination - there are real reasons for the delays.

I have a stack of old paid bills and receipts that need to be sorted. I used to be really good at sorting things the minute I got them, but the last year or two, this skill has all but disappeared. They are all in the same place, but they aren't divided into categories. Part of it is that I am sometimes in a hurry and sometimes my corneas are acting up and it is hard for me to see faint ink or smaller print on the papers with any degree of clarity. It won't take that long to do it - maybe an hour or so - but when the corneas are reasonably clear there always seems to be more important stuff to attend to first. There are, of course, many other tasks that will require the use of reasonably clear corneas to accomplish, but they are even further down the priority list. It never ends.

My energy level can fluctuate almost as much as our Manitoba weather, so I have to prioritize the jobs that need more physical stamina like laundry, cleaning and running errands. I try not to do heavy physical tasks more than three days in a row as my body will revolt if it is pushed too hard. If that happens, I move even further into limbo.....

If I'm lucky, I can coordinate errands on a good weather day and indoor activities on a not so good weather day. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work.

Sometimes, things just have to wait for a better day.

By this time of year, I usually have all my major non perishable supplies for the winter in my cupboards and the vast majority of my baking supplies ready to go for Christmas. That is actually pretty much on schedule this year.

If things are going well and I have the freezer space, I have even started the Christmas baking by November 1. I have started it this year, but I can't do a whole lot more until I have more freezer space. I won't have more freezer space until I eat some of the stuff that is already in there and that takes time. I could store some in the fridge, but it will stay fresher longer in the freezer and even the fridge has a limit to what it can hold.

It's a vicious circle and I still sometimes question how I got myself into this annual marathon of massive holiday baking madness. Part of me wants to quit, but I know how much people look forward to the annual delivery from the "Chocolate Santa" and if I did quit, then I'd have to come up with other ideas for Christmas presents - assuming that the recipients would still be speaking to me if I did quit supplying them with chocolate goodies! I do enjoy the baking when I am not rushed, BUT - well you know - sometimes I get stuck in limbo....

It takes me about a month or so to do all the holiday baking, but I can't really start handing out goody bags till the first week of December or so.

So the clock ticks, the days flow by and no baking gets done. I have mini bouts of panic wondering if this will be the year I don't get it all done.

There is another piece to this equation, and that is that the building that I live in, is going through some renovations. New boilers are being installed so there may be slight disruptions in water or heat in the next month. They are being really great about telling us in advance whenever possible, but it can still throw a wrench in my plans at times.

Other work is also being done that will require workers to have access to a tenants apartment for a day. I'll write about that work after mine is done as THAT, is a story unto itself. That should be soon, but there are also a number of variables in their schedule so again I am in limbo....

This is fun, isn't it?

I want to sort papers, but the corneas won't behave.
I want to do household stuff, but the energy isn't there.
I want to do Christmas baking, but the space isn't available and the energy is limited.
I have to be able to adjust my schedule at a days notice to allow workers in.

Why can't my eyes and my energy coordinate their schedules with the weather and the jobs that need to be done? It would be nice of them to work together, but alas, that is not my life.

So, here I am, sitting in limbo - hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.


dn