Sunday, August 7, 2011

Hot Enough For Ya?

Summer officially started on June 22 and the last full day is September 21. That means there are 92 days of summer, so if you do a little calculating that would mean that we are now at the half way point - 46 down and 46 to go.

That is heartbreaking for those who enjoy the heat but for those of us who wilt in anything above 75F/24C we are relieved that we made it this far and that cooler weather is on the horizon! Of course, that is assuming that Mother Nature doesn’t decide to throw more furnace like temperatures than usual our way in the coming days and weeks!

Parts of the US have been experiencing temps well above the norm this year. Heat warnings are out in many states. My heart goes out to you! Especially those without AC – I don’t have it either so I know that dealing with the heat can be a real challenge.

Here in Manitoba, we had a hotter than normal July. Normal high is 25.8 and our average this year was 28.2 – many of those days also included high humidity which made the temps feel more like upper 30’s or even in the 40’s on a few days!

I was not a happy camper! I do not like the heat. Never have. I wilt when the temp goes above 25.

Luckily, we here in The ‘Peg are finally getting a bit of a break from the heat. Of course this may well be short lived but I plan on enjoying it while it lasts!

So to lighten the heat oppressed spirits, I’m going to use the rest of this post to share a bit of heat humour!

Please try and stay cool!


Seems like every event these days has to have a name so here are some of the online name suggestions for the heat wave:
"The Big Schvitz"
"Sweat Ceiling"
"Helter Swelter"



Ranchers in southern states hit be sweltering heat are selling fully cooked barbecue right from the livestock.

"We let the customer choose the cattle and then we hose it down with sauce and send it out into the fields. Within twenty minutes the barbecue is piping hot and ready to eat," said a Texas rancher. Barbecue restaurants are crying foul over the direct sales of the product to the public.

"This damn heat wave is killing the cattle and our business. We can't compete with the lower overhead of the rancher when we provide our customers with a table, chairs and fan as well as swat flies," said waitress Flo Moore of the "Greasy Fat Dripping Spoon" restaurant in Amarillo.


As the husband got out of the shower he said to his wife “honey, it’s too darned hot to wear clothes today, what do you think the neighbors will say if I mow the lawn naked”. “That I married you for your money”.


It was so hot....
- All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through the air.
- Squirrels fanning their nuts.
- The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
- The cows are giving evaporated milk.
- The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
- Satan decided to take the day off.
- Even the sun was looking for some shade!
- the birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.
- I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'..
- The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs..
- Two trees fighting over a dog....
- the workers at the chicken place were jumping in the fry vat just to cool off
- I saw a fire hydrant begging a dog to pee on it.
- Hot water now comes out of both taps.
- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

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