Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

My mom has a great sense of humour. She loves a good laugh. We talk every Sunday morning for about an hour and every week we share at least a laugh or two or three! Since she doesn't use a computer, I often read her some of the email humour that regularly shows up in my inbox. So today - in honour of Mother's everywhere - I thought I'd share a little Mother's Day humour:

Mother's Day Quotes:"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." - Author Unknown
"Mothers are all slightly insane." - J.D. Salinger
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." - Phyllis Diller
"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." - Buddy Hackett

What Famous Mothers Might Have Said:

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary's Mother: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

Mona Lisa's Mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

Humpty Dumpty's Mother: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

Columbus' Mother: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

Babe Ruth's Mother: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

Michelangelo's Mother: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

Napoleon's Mother: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

Custer's Mother: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

Abraham Lincoln's Mother: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

Barney's Mother: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

Mary's Mother: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

Batman's Mother: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

Goldilocks' Mother: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

Little Miss Muffet's Mother: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

Albert Einstein's Mother: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

George Washington's Mother: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

Jonah's Mother: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.

Superman's Mother: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?

Thomas Edison's Mother: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

Happy Mother's Day!!

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