Saturday, September 26, 2009

Swine Flu Humour

H1N1 was formerly known as "Swine Flu". The new name was given since there is no real threat to humans who come in contact with pigs and/or eat pork products. However, the media and medical profession are still referring to it as "Swine Flu" so that the general population realizes that they are still talking about the same illness.

So are all the humourists, comedians and punsters out there. They are happier than a pig in mud to be hogging the hummour and having us poor humans squealing with laughter.

Here is just a sample of some of the humour that I've found in my emails and on line:
Question: What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?

Answer: For bird flu you need tweetment, and for swine flu you need oinkment.
If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.

It's just spam!!!

- Swine flu is spread by capitalist pigs.
- I had a bad day yesterday, I made a pig's ear of everything I tried.
- I think I have the swine flu. I have the sudden urge to eat bacon.
- I think I have swine flu: I've broken out in rashers.
- Will there be a mass outbreak of Human/Avian Swine flu? When pigs fly…
- Swine Fever is a song by Piggy Lee. (Peggy Lee had a hit with 'You give me fever')
- For a normal flu, we say "achoo", but for swine flu we say "achoink".

The Latest Pig Flu Movie Titles:
- Swinedler's List Pig Trouble In Little Mexico
- Silence of the Hogs
- In Ham's Way
- Babe: Death In The City
- Swiney Hog, Demon Butcher Of Fleet Street
- Memoirs Of A Butcher
- Snout Of Africa
- The Pig Sleep
- Swiney Todd
- Swine Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest
- Days Of Swine And Roses
All will either star or be directed by Kevin Bacon

The turkeys have bird flu,
the cows have mad cow disease.
I am telling you boys...
unless you want to see more pork served on Thanksgiving,
we are going to have to get our own disease.

First celebrity casualty of swine flu now confirmed.

Direct contact with infected carrier suspected.

I knew that pig was nothing but trouble!!

If you wake up looking like this....
....don't go to work!

The evolution of man....

H1N1 is a serious illness and should be taken seriously with common sense precautions like frequent hand washing, coughing into your sleeve and staying home and away from people if you do feel sick or have a fever.

But at the same time, there is so much paranoia out there that it is hard to sort truth from fiction.

Am I worried about getting H1N1?
No - this guy has been flying around my apartment for almost 20 years and I'm fine!


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