“It's so much more intimate than a laptop.”
- Steve Jobs said as he introduced the newest addition to the Apple product line - the IPad - on Wednesday January 27, 2010.
Intimate ain't the half of it Steve!!
It's debatable whether or not the male dominant execs at Apple even had an inkling as to the wealth of humour that would erupt with the announcement of the name of the new product.
After all, "I" is a standard part of the Apple branding and well, the word "pad" can mean any number of things. Steve Jobs and company obviously meant it to imply a reference to a tablet. However, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pad gives a wide variety of uses for the word pad, including: a cushion; slang for a dwelling place or bed; anatomy/zoological; botanical; electrical, carpentry, shipbuilding etc. More than 20 are listed.
Surprisingly, dictionary.com neglected to mention one of the most common slang references for pad - the kind used by pretty much all of womankind during their monthly menstruation cycle. Granted, most of the advertising world has been trying to rename it more politely as a "feminine hygiene product" or a "Napkin" due to its absorbent nature. That creates a whole other problem - but that is another story!
I read in one article that the name "ISlate" was considered quite seriously but ultimately ruled out as it reminded them to much of "The Flintstones" When you think about it, "ISlate" really isn't that bad a name after all the Flintstones were a modern stone age family! Apple could have worked out a deal with Hanna-Barbera (owners of the Flintstones) that would have been a gold mine for both companies!
Alas, Steve Jobs, introduced the "IPad" on Wednesday and unleashed a bit of a feeding frenzy on "IPad" humour! I'm not convinced that Apple was unaware of the similarity in name and were counting on at least a bit of free advertising just by people talking about the product and the ridiculous choice of name.
They got us talking alright! And if you've read a paper, watched TV, opened email or surfed the net in the last few days, well you know that there are a lot of jokes out there. Not all are related to the feminine use but since I am a female that is wear my search took me.
Here is just a sampling of what I found.
Now, I've never been a fan of Madtv but this skit actually introduced the first IPad in 2007! How is it possible that no one at Apple made this connection? Or is this where they actually got the idea??
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Wikipedia Entry for the iPad… Until Today, by Liz Colville
This article is about Apple's allegedly portable device iPad. For other uses, see iPad (disambiguation). For the handheld digital music device, see iPod. For the gadget that looks like something Jon King would flash during a CNN election broadcast, see iPad(2).
iPad was a prototype for a feminine hygiene product that purported to digitize a woman's menstruation cycle and store it on a password-protected Web server. In the trademark application submitted by the inventor, Larry Bobson, the iPad was described as a "a light-weight, leak-proof device that, for the first time, will allow women to perform the acrobatics illustrated in television ads for tampons and sanitary napkins, rather than just aspire to them. No longer will women feel frustrated watching commercial actresses leap over fire hydrants, attempt gymnastics routines, and randomly flail their legs around to illustrate the point that their menstrual protection doesn't leak. With iPad, a woman's cycle continues as normal, it just doesn't happen down there."
Bobson, who claims the iPad as his only invention, became embroiled in controversy over the device when early testers reported quitting their jobs, breaking up with their significant others and sending angry texts to friends in the days surrounding the "upload period." Testers also reported finding Bobson creepy. At an emotional press conference in 2001, Bobson responded to a growing chorus of skeptics, who were demanding more disclosure about the device, by saying he couldn't "be expected to invent something that would prevent women from being women." Though the FDA was more than happy to approve the device without knowing anything about it except its name, which a spokesperson reportedly called "catchy," a Bush Administration official blocked the passage of the device in 2002, saying it was "1984-ish" and "sound[ed] a hell of a lot like pro-choice to me."
Bobson retired in 2009 at the age of 27 when Apple Computer, Inc. bought the rights to the name iPad for an undisclosed six-figure sum. See iPad(2).
Liz Colville is a history expert.
From surfing the web:
“Apple iPad: Actually PULLS moisture away from you!”
“Attention Early Adopters! Hold out for Apple iPad 2.0 ... it comes with ‘wings’ ”
“Apple iPad: Sounds like a sanitary napkin, looks like Andre the Giant's iPhone. Just sayin' ...”
"Apple should have seen the iPad humor coming...at least 28 days ago."
"Does Jobs' iPad have a vaginal firewall? I think not."
"Will I have to get an iPap smear every year?"
"Uncomfortable cramping and bloating? There's an app for that."
"A friend tweeted that "all this talk about iPad is giving me iCramps," and I suggested iBuprofen."
"Microsoft's answer to the I-Pad is a Technical Automatic Material Peripheral Onboard Notebook. or TAMPON. Should be coming out soon."
"If Steve Jobs wants to get in my pants once a month, he's gonna need an app for that."
"Whatever. Wake me up when Steve Jobs announces the iPeen."
LizB: iPad. was there a woman on this naming team? will there be different sizes? Mini iPad, maxi iPad?
elahater: Apple obviously needs some women on staff. Just so the words, "um are you sure about that, Steve?" could have been uttered.
Gelatobaby: And you can use the giant QWERTY keyboard to get your period on the #iPad !
herbadmother: Seriously, 'iPad?' There are too many of us for whom the phrase 'my pad just failed' evokes horror that should never be linked to technology
TimDillon: iPad sounds like a guy with a Boston accent trying to say iPod.
TwittsMcGee: I haven't heard this many period jokes since I was forced to watch The View last month.
kathycacace: Okay, just one more. The iPad: protecting your data from embarrassing incidents.
lady_justice: Did the prototype come with a belt?
Lymed: Does the Period Tracker app come free?
fauxfruit: If I order this, will my boyfriend and I have to worry if it comes late?
andBegorrah: If you and your friends all buy one, will they sync up?
vlvtjones: So will iffy Wifi coverage be called iSpotting?
babyruthless: Mac made an iPad. It's Mac's iPad. Say it with me. Mac's iPad. Seriously? No one said the name out loud?
morninggloria: Can I get a scented iPad for when my data feels not-so-fresh?
Cinnamoncanuck: @NellMood: Aunt Flo will be so happy!
LilSpitfire: Later in the year they will be releasing the companion tablet pen, the Ipon.
This Twitter post sums it all up better than I could:
Mary McCarthyite: Everyone, just try to Stay(free) calm and Poise(d). It's Always nice to see a new product on the market. I Depend on Apple to come up with great ideas. Maybe we're taking this out of Kotex.