A Dozen Things you can say at Thanksgiving and get away with!!!
1. Talk about huge breasts !
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's cool whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Don't play with your meat.
10. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
11. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
12. You still have a little bit on your chin.
Q: Why should you keep your eye off the turkey dressing?
A: Because it makes him blush!
Q: Why do turkeys always go "gobble, gobble"?
A: Because they never learned good table manners!
Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A: I'll tell you at Christmas.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
Q: What happened when the turkey met the axe?
A: He lost his head!
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their AGE!
Q: How can you tell a male turkey from a female turkey?
A: The male is the one holding the remote control.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Q: Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
A: He was stuffed!
Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
A: Take him out for pizza and ice cream!
Teacher: "Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?"
Student: "Maybe they missed their plane."
Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?"
Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?
"May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!"
- Anonymous
Okay, some of these were better than others, but you should have seen the turkeys I DIDN'T add to this post!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
dn
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