Ruth Gordon

Last weekend, I watched one of my all time favourite movies -"Harold and Maude" - the 1971 cult classic, starring Bud Cort and the irrepressible Ruth Gordon. I'd seen a number of her films and television appearances over the years, but "Harold and Maude" is at the top of my list with this multitalented woman. A friend introduced me to this movie in the late 1980's and I've probably watched it a dozen or more times since.

For the uninitiated, it is a very dark comedy that can teach us all a lesson about living each life to the fullest. I will admit, that you have to be in the right frame of mind to watch this film, but if you are - well you will find yourself gasping, laughing out loud, cheering, singing along with the Cat Stevens soundtrack and maybe shedding a tear.

Ruth Gordon Jones was born October 30, 1896 in Quincy, Massachusetts. She decided that she wanted to be an actress after seeing a performance by her favourite actress, Hazel Dawn. Her parents were skeptical that she could make a living as an actress, but her father took her to New York City in 1914 and enrolled her in the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. In 1915 she had her first role as an extra in a silent movie and soon after made her acting debut on Broadway as one of the lost boys in a revival of Peter Pan. In 1918, she costarred in a play called "Seventeen" with Gregory Kelly who later became her first husband in 1921. He died of heart disease in 1927 at age 36. Her only child, Jones Harris was born in 1929 after a relationship with Broadway producer Jed Harris.

Through the 1920's and 1930's she had numerous small roles in plays on Broadway, several theaters in the USA and on stage in England. There were also more roles in movies - silent and talking.

Besides being a talented actress, Gordon was also an accomplished writer. She authored several books and plays. Together, with her second husband, Garson Kanin (1942-1985), Gordon co wrote numerous successful plays for the stage and adaptations for the silver screen. Two of the most notable plays were "Adam's Rib" (1949) and "Pat and Mike" (1952). The screenplays starred Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. The onscreen characters were modeled on the writer's real life relationship. They received an Oscar nominations for the writing of both screenplays.

Her autobiographical play, "Years Ago" was made into the 1953 movie "The Actress", starring Jean Simmons. In 1956, she was nominated for a Tony Award for her role as Dolly Levi in "The Matchmaker". In 1966, she earned an Oscar nomination and won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress ("Inside Daisy Clover"). Her portrayal of Minnie Castevet in "Rosemary's Baby" (1968) earned her both a Golden Globe and an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. Gordon was again nominated for a Golden Globe in 1971 for her role as Maude in "Harold and Maude".

Her movie career continued with roles such as Ma Boggs in the "Every Which Way But Loose" and "Any Which Way You Can" and as Mrs. Lavin in "Maxie" (1985).

"Maxie" is another one of my all time favourite movies! It stars Glenn Close as Jan - a bishop's secretary who ends up sharing her home and her body with the ghost of a wild flapper era actress who died on the way to her biggest audition. Jan's husband Nick - Mandy Patinkin - is a used book dealer. The couple are renovating their new apartment and uncover some of Maxie's past and also learn that her spirit still lives in the home. Ruth Gordon plays the landlady who was also a very close friend of Maxie's. This was one of the last appearances that Gordon made. She died a few weeks before the film was released.


Throughout her later years, Gordon also worked on the small screen in numerous TV plays and did several guest appearances on series such as "Kojak", "Medical Story", "Love Boat", "Newhart" and "Taxi". One of her more notable TV roles was as Carlton's mother on "Rhoda" for which she earned an Emmy nomination. She also costarred with Peter Falk in his "Columbo" series as the murderess mystery author, Abigail Mitchell in "Try And Catch Me" (1977). In 1975, she became the oldest person to host "Saturday Night Live".

Ruth Gordon died from a stroke 24 years ago today on August 28, 1985 in Edgartown, Massachusetts.

Ruth Gordon quotes:
"The great have no friends. They merely know a lot of people."
"Why should ruts be so comfortable and so unpopular?"
"The kiss. There are all sorts of kisses, lad, from the sticky confection to the kiss of death. Of them all, the kiss of an actress is the most unnerving. How can we tell if she means it or if she's just practicing?"
"The best impromptu speeches are the ones written well in advance."
"Never give up; and never, under any circumstances, no matter what - never face the facts."
"If you believe, then you hang on. If you believe, it means you've got imagination, you don't need stuff thrown out on a blueprint, and don't face facts-what can stop you? If I don't make it today, I'll come in tomorrow."
"All I wanted out of a career was to look like Hazel Dawn and wear pink feathers."
(On winning the Oscar at age 72, after fifty years in show business.) "I can't tell you how encouraging a thing like this is, for a young actress like myself."
"In our family we don't divorce our men - we bury them."
IMDB

dn

Humour For The Ladies And The Men Who Can Handle It!

So after the last couple of posts on women aging, I though it only appropriate to follow it up with some humour in the same vein!

~*~*~*~

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

~*~*~*~

Sharing

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband!

~*~*~*~

dn

Oh, This Is Fun - NOT! Part 2

I know that most of the changes that my body is going through is thanks to the onset of perimenopause. I started getting a few hot flashes around my fiftieth birthday. At first they were just from the chest up - a brief heat wave and flushed colour and then it was over. I thought maybe I might be getting off lucky. No such luck. Within a few months it had progressed to full body and they weren't fun even though they only lasted a couple of minutes. A hot flash in the middle of winter isn't so bad as it can cut down on the heating bills, but in the summer it can be downright uncomfortable - there is only so much you can take off without causing a scene!

Several of my friends warned me about night sweats. You are sound asleep when you suddenly feel so hot that you begin to sweat and throw off the covers just to cool off. Some women actually have to change the sheets during the night. Others keep a wet cloth handy by the bed so they can do a rub down to cool their bodies.

I don't get night sweats every night, but when I do, it would be really nice if they arrived at the same time as the collect call from Mother Nature! But, NOOO! I'll get ready for bed and within seconds of crawling into bed my feet turn to ice cubes and I often get a cold chill in the hollow of my back, despite being well covered. So my whole body ends up shivering! One of those times when the warmth a male body would come in handy - but I digress! The blanket also seems to be working against me, as it thinks it is supposed to keep the ice from melting not the reverse. ARGH!

So after a few minutes, my body finally warms up and I fall into a comfortable sleep - unless of course my brain decides to kick into overdrive and keep me awake for awhile longer. Eventually I do fall asleep and generally sleep quite well - until I get an emergency call from Mother Nature who requires my presence in another part of the apartment. As one of my friends says - "at least your body still alerts you to GET up!" True - and I am very thankful for that! The point is, that why couldn't the hot flash also arrive at the same time? It would keep me warm till I crawl back under the covers. Apparently that isn't the way this aging game works. They tag team through most nights just enough to prevent me from getting a decent nights sleep. The insomnia can also decide to call in the middle of the night. I have occasionally had to function on 3 to 4 hours of very disjointed sleep and that is not easy for me as I generally need my 8 hours of shut eye. So much fun - NOT!

I've never really suffered from PMS. I've had bad moods, but they don't generally coordinate with my cycle. When I do have a bad day, I usually try to avoid people or really watch myself if I have to go out. However, this past June I did have a really rough few weeks. My mood and emotions could turn on a dime! I caught myself wanting to yell at people over the tiniest things. I was overly emotional and cried at almost anything for no reason. It felt like the world was conspiring against me.

I emailed my gal pals and told them what was going on. I asked them not to send me any "touchy/feely/sappy" emails - which I'm not a fan of anyway - but they annoyed me even more than usual. I asked the gals to send me only funny stuff from then on. They assured me they understood and that I wasn't loosing my mind. They also sent me some hilarious stuff!

I really wasn't that sure about my mind though, as I just wasn't acting or feeling like myself. Case in point: I was trying to get a recipe from a friend, but they didn't really have a specific recipe for the item that they had recommended I try and suggested I do it in the same manner as another recipe I have - just switch the ingredients. They said "it's an art - not a science!" Normally, I would have agreed and just tried it, as I do enjoy experimenting - but since this was an ingredient I'd never worked with before and my reactions were on hair trigger setting, I wanted to jump through the PC and throttle the friend! I knew I was over reacting even as this was going through my brain but I couldn't stop myself. It was like I was watching myself from across the room and thinking: "Who was this mad woman and why was she reacting like this?" Turns out my friend was right and the recipe I had worked fine but at that moment I could have slugged them!

Every woman goes through this whole process in their own way. Some sail through it and barely notice. For some the symptoms only last a few months and for others it can last for years. Some find themselves in a bizarre parallel universe and unwittingly put the people they love through a constant revolving door of emotions. Some turn to medications to ease the symptoms, but that can create a whole new set of problems. Most of us just tough it out and rely on all of our sisters to help keep us laughing and stop us from wanting to harm unsuspecting bystanders - 99% of which are men!

Luckily, we have had a cooler than normal summer this year. My body has really appreciated that. I think I've been reasonably sane for the last couple of months, but then again would I really know if I wasn't? Don't answer that. I think this may be one of those times when ignorance is bliss and I really don't want to hurt you.

dn

Oh, This Is Fun - NOT! Part 1

I've been feeling old lately. Not that I'm that OLD - I'm only 51. It's just that my physical body doesn't seem to be agreeing with my chronological age. I exercise every day and try to eat healthy, but my body has decided that it just doesn't want to co-operate. It resists my movements and utters these weird sounds and creaking noises when I bend my knees or do other things. Okay, the knee/joint cracking does run in the family - but it still doesn't have to be so loud, does it?

You know how some athletes such as tennis players always make those loud noises when they hit the ball? They say it gives them extra momentum. Well my body seems to need those same noises to inspire it to move.

Then there is the sagging body parts, increased wrinkles, age lines and other signs. Nothing seems to be in quite the same position - let alone condition it used to be! Not that I had a great body in the first place - it just seems to be showing the wear a little faster than I would like.

I knew this was all coming - eventually. I just wish it would have waited a while longer or at least wasn't all coming at once and being so obvious.

You see, like most women of "a certain age", I have felt like I am really hitting my stride. I know what I like and don't like. What I will and won't tolerate. I have beliefs and opinions and I've finally gotten to the point where I'm not afraid to share them. I've got a good group of supportive friends in my personal life and on line.

So in most respects, my life is pretty good. Okay, I'll admit that it would be nice to have a special someone in my life, and I wish that I didn't have to watch my finances quite as closely. But I can survive without a guy and I've lived on less.

What I don't like is being betrayed by my own mind and body. Growing old isn't always fun and it presents some unique challenges especially for women. Sure there are benefits like the eventual freedom from the monthly "curse" but there are a whole new set of issues that arrive with that.

Okay guys, I know you are probably starting to squirm - but please keep reading because if the lady in your life hasn't gone through this yet, then you need to listen up. You may actually learn something - or at least see things from a different perspective.

I'd heard stories from my female relatives and gal pals about what to expect. I've watched other women go through it and shuddered as I considered what may be to come.

As a teen, I remember the mother of one of my girlfriends going through it. She lived in tank tops year round and seemed to almost constantly be in a bad mood. My own mom was constantly turning down the heat to the point where dad and I sometimes wore long johns and extra sweaters just to stay warm in the winter. If she was home alone, she'd turn the heat down completely and even open a window if she was still too warm! If we had company, or if she was cooking in the kitchen, she'd step out on the back steps for a couple of minutes without a jacket. The women also seemed to be very forgetful. They could walk into a room and forget why they were there or what they wanted to say. (Oh goody - this was going to be fun when my time came!)

My female friends refer to these brief memory lapses as "Mental-pause"!

My first real clue that my time was coming, was when my memory started to have little blips of forgetfulness. I'd always had a bit of an elephant like memory. I didn't need to make lists (even though I did as a backup). I remembered dates, details and circumstances of some things long after they were relevant. I was the one that others asked for info when they didn't remember.

It started out with little things, like forgetting what I was looking for, then forgetting things I needed when I went shopping. I'd put the list in my pocket, but forget it was there until I was on my way home! I forgot my watch a few times which is really a nuisance when you are relying on buses and trying to figure out how much time you have till the next bus. A couple of times I forgot my pocket magnifying glass, which made reading my list impossible and trying to find certain items in the grocery store a lot harder. Luckily I found a helpful clerk. The worst though, was forgetting my monocular which is what I use to see distance and to cross the streets safely. Luckily, the times I did forget it, I was going to places I was very familiar with, so felt fairly safe. Besides, if I went back, I would have missed my bus - silly I know, but I knew if I took it slow and a little more cautiously, I'd be okay and I was.

There is much more to tell in this tale of aging, but this post is long enough for today, so I will post the rest on August 20 - assuming that I remember!

dn

dn's No Bake Chocolate and PB Slice

Earlier this summer, I went looking for a dessert recipe with two of my favourite ingredients - chocolate and peanut butter. Not surprisingly, there were thousands to choose from. I wanted something that tasted as great as it looked mouthwatering, but didn't require a lot of ingredients (10 or less) or a lot of time to prepare (under and hour plus chilling when completed) - something I could chill in the fridge and serve over the next few days. I narrowed it down to no bake and a chocolate crumb crust. There were still lots to choose from, but none seemed to have enough chocolate or peanut butter to suit my taste buds. I saved and printed 3 or 4 recipes that all had elements that I thought would be flavourful and then mixed, matched and improvised to come up with my own masterpiece!

What I came up with was a cookie crumb crust with three layers of peanut butter and chocolate combinations. If you wanted to, you could use a basic chocolate crumb crust, but I find that those tend to either be rock hard or very crumbly. The cookies and the cream filling hold together quite nicely without getting to hard to cut with a fork. The three layers of filling range from a creamy peanut butter to a dark chocolate with a bit of peanut butter to the top layer of a light chocolate mixture. I sprinkled peanuts or shaved chocolate on top just because!

So here is the recipe that I finally came up with:

dn's No Bake Chocolate and PB Slice

1 350gram/12 ounce package fudge filled chocolate cookies (I used no name as they were almost half the price of name brand)
1/2 cup margarine, melted
2 250 gram/8 ounce light cream cheese, softened to room temp
1 1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
3/4 cup white sugar
200 grams/6 ounces dark or bittersweet chocolate
1 4 serving instant chocolate pudding
1 1/2 cups 1% milk
1 litre/4 cups frozen dessert topping, thawed (I used a light, no name version)
1/4 cup chopped peanuts and/or shaved chocolate for garnish

Spray a deep 9"x13" pan with Pam. Break the cookies in half and process to crumbs in a food processor by pulsing for a few seconds. Depending on your processor, you may need to do this in 2 or 3 batches. Place crumbs in large bowl and combine with the melted margarine. Press gently and evenly in prepared pan and chill in fridge.

Break/cut the chocolate into small pieces and melt on medium power in microwave for about 2 minutes - stirrring after 1 minute. Stir till smooth and set aside to cool.

Combine the cream cheese, peanut butter and sugar until light and creamy. Fold about 1/3 of the dessert topping into the mixture. (I just estimated rather than measuring). Pour about 2/3 of the cream cheese mixture over the cookie crust. Carefully spread the mixture evenly and return to fridge.

Mix pudding mix with the 1 1/2 cup milk and stir just till it starts to thicken. Stir in all of the melted chocolate and mix till more or less smooth - the chocolate may start to harden as it mixes, but a bit of chocolate pieces only adds to the texture and flavour! Gently fold in about 1/3 of the dessert topping and blend till smooth.

Pour 1/2 of the pudding mix into the remaining cream cheese mixture and stir till evenly combined. Pour the pudding/cream cheese mixture carefully over the first cream cheese mixture and spread evenly. Return to fridge for about 10 minutes.

Stir the remaining 1/3 dessert topping into the chocolate pudding mixture and then spread carefully over the second layer, spreading evenly.

Sprinkle with chopped peanuts and/or shaved chocolate. Refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight. Serves 12-16.

Enjoy!

dn

My Parents Were Stoners!

Okay, the title of this post may be slightly misleading, but I think you will understand my title choice by the time you finish this post.

My great-grandparents and some of their children moved to the Pembina Valley from southern Ontario back in the early 1890's. They settled on a parcel of land with a creek flowing through it. My grandfather married my grandmother in 1909 and together they raised 5 children on the family farm. When my father married my mother in 1944, he had already begun to do a lot of work to improve the landscape of the farm.

My dad wasn't just a farmer - he loved to garden, Dad, planted dozens of trees along the lane to create a windrow that would protect the property during winter and provide a shady place to enjoy the summers. He planted the trees in such a way as to create a pathway to walk through and also seeded a lot of green space. Dad planted evergreens, willows, birch, crab apple, chokecherry, and many other varieties that would thrive on the fertile prairie land and survive the bitter cold of winter. He also planted lilacs, peonies and other flowering bushes and perennials to add touches of colour and beauty to the landscape.

In the early years of their marriage, the focus was on the children, grain fields, livestock and a massive vegetable garden. The garden was a lot of work, but the bounty of the harvest helped keep lots of healthy food on the table all year long.

In the mid 1960's, they did the first major remodel of the 1909 farm house. They took the second floor - with it's 3 bedrooms - off and built a large dining room/living room on the south side of the house and turned the old living room and dining room into bedrooms. This meant that some new landscaping would have to be done. They started out simply enough, but well, one thing led to another and ... Wait I'm getting ahead of myself.

After us kids were grown and my brother had pretty much taken over the day to day farm operations, mom and dad had a lot more time to focus on the garden and the yard. Cutting back on their usual large garden wasn't easy and the first few years, there was lots of extra produce to share with neighbors and friends. As they cut back on the vegetable garden, the size of the various flowerbeds grew. Dad started well over a thousand plants every spring. He set up grow lights in the house, then moved everything to a small greenhouse - that he built himself with old windows and scrap lumber. There were also lots of bulbs to be planted and he often bought a few trays of bedding plants as well.

Even though dad was no longer a full time farmer, he and mom loved going for drives to look at the crops. Along these drives, they would stop to explore the surroundings and if they saw an interesting stone or rock, they would put it in the trunk of the car and bring it home. For most farmers, finding rocks in their fields is a problem as it can break equipment, so any stones that are found are usually just tossed in the ditch or piled in a corner of a field. Occasionally, they would ask a farmer permission to remove the stones, but most were just glad to get rid of them! Mom and dad also made frequent explorations into gravel pits and quarries in search of the larger stones that were too big for general use. Again, most owners were glad that someone had use for them. It wasn't unusual for them to come home with the trunk weighed down almost to the ground with uniquely coloured and shaped stones.

If I happened to be home while they were out on one of their "drives", I told any callers that my parents had gone to a rock concert to get stoned! Some of their friends also jokingly referred to them as "The Flintstones" which was somewhat appropriate as that was my dad's favourite cartoon and we were a "modern stone aged family"! I'm not sure that mom and dad actually knew what they were going to do with all these stones when it all started and like most collections I don't think they even realized just what they were getting themselves into. The big question, was what were they going to do with all of them and how could they be displayed to their full beauty?

One of the first things they did, was to create a flower bed around the foundation of the new living/dining room. At first, dad just placed the stones along the edges to separate the grass and sidewalk from the flowerbeds. The problem was, that the dirt used to fall out between the stones and make a mess on the sidewalk and grass. Dad bought some cement mix and permanently positioned the stones with the cement to create the first flower beds. It looked great and they got lots of compliments - and questions of what were they going to build next? Especially since there were still a LOT of stones to work with.

The next project, was a 2 foot tall stone fence that served as an east/west divider between the grass and patio that dad had created between the garage and the house. It was eventually raised to almost 3 feet high and had flat rocks all along the top for sitting. To balance that they built another slightly curved wall at the west end of the patio. They decided that the center of it would be lower so that the gas bar-b-que could be placed there. The wall to either side of it would also have wide flat stones along the top so that the area could be used for setting up serving buffets for parties or just for sitting.

After that, there was a raised flower bed built under their bedroom window and a triangular flower bed in front of the garage to edge the driveway, walk and lawn. To divide the driveway and the perennial beds, there was a low row of rocks similar to the first ones they built around the house. That row along the drive ended at the pole for the yard light, so of course they had to build a stone flowerbed around the base of it.

I'm not sure exactly where along the line this next part happened, but at some point dad came across a second hand cement mixer for sale at an auction. He and mom decided that having their own cement mixer would make the work go a lot faster! Until then, they had been mixing small amounts of cement by hand in a wheel barrel!

Well, they kept finding stones and rocks and kept finding creative ways to use them. They built a wishing well near the yard light and dad built the wood shingle roof for it. Ir is full of dirt and has flowers planted in it. When they decided to put a patio door off of the south side of the living room, they built stone steps to go in and out.

The area behind the bar-b-que wall, led down to a grassy area that we called the bluff. It flooded every spring, so wasn't really suitable for planting a lot of things, but the area leading down would be great for a layered stone garden and stairway. Dad even designed part of those flower beds to include a waterfall that flowed over specifically selected stones into a small stone pond.

Dad almost never cut the stones, but instead carefully laid them out in various positions to see what their best sides were and where they would fit the best. He used a pressure hose to wash the stones and by doing that he was also able to see more of the coloration, veining and striations of the stones. Mom and dad spent hours deciding where all of the stones would go. They would measure everything. While mom mixed the cement, dad would prepare the various stones and have everything ready. They did it all as a team.

In the early 1980's, mom and dad did another remodel to the house and built a sun-room off of the kitchen. The first year or so they had your standard concrete steps but they knew that wasn't going to be permanent.The last project they did together was the back steps into the house and a raised flower bed under the sun-room window. Dad had been saving flat rocks specifically for this purpose for at least a couple of years.

The yard looked amazing! The trees, lawns, flowers and seemingly endless stonework was a true showpiece! My parents were always getting calls from friends and relatives asking if they could bring friends out to see the yard. Mom and dad always obliged as they enjoyed showing their work. They were never willing to enter it in any yard contests though as dad never felt comfortable with that kind of scrutiny. The yard was for personal enjoyment not prizes.

Mom and dad spent countless hours weeding and tending to the yard. As they aged, they were unable to do quite as much as they used to, but it was still a beautiful display. By the late 1990's, my mom wasn't really able to do much gardening anymore and the last year that my dad was able to do all the work was 2001. My brother and other family members and friends helped out, but it was heartbreaking for both of my parents to not be able to do the work themselves.

After my dad died in November 2003, mom wondered if the beds would ever bloom again. Well, thanks to my brother and a long time family friend, the flowers still bloom every year. There aren't nearly as many flowers as there used to be, but there are flowers and other greenery in all of the beds. My brother does all the mowing and a lot of weeding. The family friend comes as often as she can, and putters around in the flower beds. Every spring she and my brother plant a few hundred bedding plants while my mom watches and remembers her and dad all those years ago. It saddens her that she can't do it herself and that her soulmate is no longer here to work the beds either, but she is also happy to see their work carried on and enjoyed by those who still come to call.

I went through my old photo albums a couple of weeks ago and found a bunch of photos of the yard from the 1980's. The colours of the old photos weren't great, but I tried to correct them as best I could. I then put them together into a slideshow and added music that I thought mom and dad would both enjoy. This is my first slideshow and I hope you enjoy it

dn

Louis Armstrong

Louis Armstrong often stated in interviews that he was born on July 4, 1900. It wasn't until more than a decade after his death, that the real birth date of August 4, 1901 was discovered after careful examination of baptismal records in New Orleans. His birth was recorded as "out-of-wedlock black child"

Louis Daniel Armstrong was born into a very poor family in New Orleans, Louisiana and was the grandson of a slave. His father abandoned the family when Louis was an infant and his mother left him and his sister in the care of their grandmother or an uncle for periods of time. He attended the Fisk school, but often hung out at nearby clubs and dance halls to listen to the music. He earned some money by delivering papers, hauling coal and other odd jobs. He dropped out of school at age 11 and joined up with three other boys in similar straits to sing for money on the streets. He learned to play the cornet and bought his first one with money he received from a Jewish immigrant family named Karnofsky. The Karnofsky's owned a junk hauling business. Louis did odd jobs for them and the family took him in as practically one of their own. They nurtured and fed him. Armstrong always wore a "Star of David" on his lapel as a symbol of gratitude to the family for the rest of his life.

Armstrong often got in trouble as a youth and was sent to The New Orleans Home for Colored Waifs - most notably for general delinquency. It was while there, that he began to really develop his cornet playing. His first real music instructor was Professor Peter Davis. Davis eventually made Armstrong the band leader for The Home's band. The band was well known in the city in part due to the obvious talent of its' young leader.

After his release from The Home, at age 14, he lived briefly with his father, then his mother and then back on the streets. He got his first real gig as a musician at a dance hall. He hauled coal by day and played cornet at night.

Armstrong's first marriage was to Daisy Parker on March 19, 1918, The marriage didn't last long and she died not long after they divorced. They had adopted the mentally disabled 3 year old son of Armstrong's cousin. Armstrong, took care of the boy the rest of his life.

In 1919, he replaced King Oliver in Kid Ory's band and was soon promoted to first cornet. He also played first trumpet for a jazz society brass band and did a lot of work as a riverboat musician. He learned to read music and found his own unique styling and sound for his solo work. In 1922, Armstrong was invited by his mentor, King Oliver, to come to Chicago, so he joined a growing migration of New Orleans musicians who headed north. Race relations were not good in Chicago, but there was a lot of work for black people and they had money to spend on entertainment. Armstrong would not have to supplement his income with a day labour job up north. Jazz music ruled in Chicago at the time and Armstrong lived like a king for the first time in his life!

Armstrong did his first recordings in Chicago. Although a successful musician with Oliver's band, Louis' second wife, pianist Lil Hardin Armstrong encouraged him to branch out on his own and develop his style further. She got him to play more classical pieces while in church and to spruce up his attire to make him look more professional. He played with Fletcher Henderson for a year and also travelled to New York to work in various clubs and on recordings.

Louis Armstrong had also been working on his singing and patter to include with the musical act. He worked on numerous recordings in the Chicago area and for a time was actually a part of his wife's band. After they separated, Louis worked in a band with Earl Hines on piano, for Joe Glaser - an associate of Al Capone.

In 1929, he returned to New York and worked in the pit orchestra for the all black revue "Hot Chocolate". Armstrong often stole the show with his cameo performance of "Ain't Misbehavin'" - which also became one of his most successful recordings. His recordings of "Stardust" and "Lazy River" were also big hits.

During the depression of the 1930's, a lot of jazz clubs were forced to close. Armstrong moved to L.A. for a time and also returned to New Orleans before travelling to Europe. he did several tours when he returned to the states, but also ran into financial troubles. He hired Joe Glaser as his manager to straighten things out. Louis was also experiencing some problems with his fingers and his lips due to his unorthodox style, so he continued to develop his singing and ventured into movies with an appearance in "Pennies From Heaven" (1936).

In 1937, Louis became the first black performer to host a sponsored, national radio show. He also finally divorced second wife Lil and married long time girlfriend Alpha. By 1943, he had permanently settled in Queens, New York and was touring with a small group of musicians and playing about 300 gigs/year. "The All Stars", as they were collectively known, toured North America, Europe, Asia and Africa. Various recordings for Okeh Records were also doing very well and there were more movie appearances.

By the 1960's, failing health was slowing his schedule, but he continued to perform and record till the day he died. The nickname "Satchmo" was short for satchelmouth. Melody Makers magazine editor Percy Brooks gave him the name in 1931 and it stuck. The nickname "pops" was also a common name greeting among the jazz community and his friends. He was sometimes criticized for not taking a stronger stand in the civil rights movement, but instead chose to contribute financially behind the scenes to people like Martin Luther King Jr. and others. He preferred to keep his politics separate from his entertainment career.

Bing Crosby was greatly inspired by Armstrong and they even recorded together with songs like "Gone Fishin'". Armstrong recorded with jazz greats; Bessie Smith, Lionel Hampton, Duke Ellington and the amazing Ella Fitzgerald among others.

Louis and Ella were a wonderful combination. Their collaborations were classics and produced hits that included: "Summertime"; "Moonlight in Vermont"; They Can't Take That Away From Me"; "A Foggy Day"; "Dream A Little Dream Of Me"; "April In Paris"; and my two favourites - "Stars Fell On Alabama" and "Cheek To Cheek".

Louis Armstrong had a hit record with "Hello Dolly" in 1964 at age 63, He actually knocked The Beatles out of the top spot on the charts! Some of his other hits included: "Basin Street Blues"; "When It's Sleepy Time Down South"; "When You're Smiling"; "Jeepers Creepers"; "Making Whoopee"; "On The Sunny Side Of The Street"; "You Rascal You"; "Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans"; "La Vie En Rose"; "A Kiss To Build A Dream On" and the now classic "What A Wonderful World".

His music has been featured in movies such as "Sleepless In Seattle" (1993) and "Good Morning Vietnam" (1987). The later resulted in the song "What A Wonderful World" becoming a hit all over again and helped introduce a whole new generation to the talented performer.

Louis Armstrong died just after suffering a heart attack on July 6, 1971. "His honorary pallbearers included Governor Rockefeller, Mayor Lindsay, Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Guy Lombardo, Duke Ellington, Dizzy Gillespie, Pearl Bailey, Count Basie, Harry James, Frank Sinatra, Ed Sullivan, Earl Wilson, Alan King, Johnny Carson, David Frost, Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett and Bobby Hackett.

Peggy Lee sang The Lord's Prayer at the services while Al Hibbler sang Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen and Fred Robbins, a long time friend, gave the eulogy."

Armstrong was honored with a U.S. postage stamp in 1995. The New Orleans Airport was renamed "Louis Armstrong International" on August 4, 2001. He has won numerous awards and been inducted into several prestigious music halls of fame.

An aunt of mine was lucky enough to see Armstrong live in concert during one of his tours in the late 1950's here in Winnipeg. She told me it was one of the most memorable performances she ever saw. I never really realized just how versatile and talented he was until about 20 some years ago. Luckily for me and countless other fans, he has left us a timeless legacy of musical selections to enjoy for generations to come.



dn

Summer Nights

The heat of the summer days on the farm could drive me crazy - but oh the summer nights! Now those could be a whole different experience!

Depending, of course, on the weather of the day, a bit of stormy weather could develop quite quickly as the afternoon progressed into evening. You had to listen to the weather reports and watch the skies. If the sky had a yellowish tinge (not from the sunset) or the clouds were really dark or there was a sudden drop in temp - then you knew that there was something ominous nearby. There could be hail, damaging winds or even a tornado hiding in those clouds.

I only remember a couple of really bad electrical storms when I was young. Sheet lightening and a bit of thunder never scared me, but oh my - the more severe storms still scare me. The sudden streaks followed by thunder booms could knock my socks off! They make me shudder with fear of what could be coming.

A gentle rain on the other hand can be a welcome relief. I loved walking in the rain and didn't care if I got soaked to the skin! As long as there was little risk of it becoming a thunder storm, then I wanted to be out in the rain. If I couldn't be out in it, I wanted to sit by an open window, watch, listen and breathe in the smell of the rain as it cooled down the lingering heat from the day.

The hot muggy nights were the worst. You wanted a little rain to cool things down, but if it started to rain it might turn to a storm, so you hoped for a breeze from the north. Trying to sleep on those muggy nights was next to impossible. The air would be still, thick and sticky. You didn't want to even put on any type of sleepwear - let alone have a sheet covering you. You'd lay on your back, with your legs and arms out to the sides because even the thought of another warm body part touching your skin was enough to make you sweat. The heat was exhausting, but sleep wouldn't come easy. Oh you might doze, but the air was so thick and hot that it wasn't a fitful sleep.

We never had air conditioning. Mom and dad wouldn't leave the fan from the furnace on all night as the cool air from the basement would all be sucked out and we'd roast even more the next day. Sometimes we'd set one of the box fans on a chair at the bedroom door and let it blow even a warm breeze on us, but the noise from the fans would keep us awake too!

We didn't always get to fully enjoy our yard and peaceful surroundings in the evenings, as that was always a favourite time for the mosquito's. Bug sprays helped, but a nice breeze helped even more!

If the weather co-operated and the bugs stayed away, we often entertained guests outdoors. We'd turn up the stereo from the living room and listen to music through the patio door as we chatted over drinks and desserts on the patio.

Dad had a horse shoe pitch down behind the house and there was also a croquet set or lawn darts to set up on the front lawn if we wanted games to play. We could also take a walk along a path through the trees that lined the grass on the east side of the lane.

When I was a teen, I learned to play a bit of guitar while working at summer camp. I often took my guitar out with me in the evenings - along with a notepad and pen in case I got inspired to write some lyrics for a song. I usually just played and sang songs that I knew.

I have always loved sunsets. My favourite place to watch them, was a tree behind the house. I don't recall what kind of tree it was, but it had split into two sections about 3 feet off the ground. Where the split was, made a perfect seat to view the western skies. I spent many an evening sitting in the base of that tree - contemplating life and marveling as Mother Nature painted the sky every night. I always loved taking walks at dusk or even after dark. I always carried a flashlight with me to be on the safe side, but I rarely had to use it, as there wasn't a lot of traffic along our part of the road at that time of evening.

There is just something very calming about a walk in the evening. You hear the crickets chirping, owls hooting, and the breezes blowing through the trees. Occasionally you'd hear the sounds of grass rustling as a fox, a squirrel, or some other small animal scurried by. Sometimes you'd hear a neighbours dog bark even though it was almost a mile away. If the wind was just right, you heard a train whistle as it passed through a small country station/whistle stop about 5 miles to the south west.

Besides the sounds along the walks, I loved to just watch the sky turn from dusk to dark and watch for the first star sighting of the night so I could make a wish. If I was really lucky, I'd see a falling star. It didn't happen often, but if the conditions were just right, there may be a bit of northern lights doing it's colourful dance in the northern skies! Walking when the moon was out was wonderful, as you didn't need a flashlight - unless you needed to identify your presence to a nearing vehicle. The shadows of the moonlight, cast a wonderful glow on the surrounding countryside.

If I didn't go for a late night walk, I would at least try to sit in my tree or lay on a blanket on the grass for awhile. When I was old enough, I would sometimes even sleep out under the stars. Even though, I was within sight of the house, mom would still worry about me!

On the nights I couldn't sleep, I'd grab the guitar and head out behind the house or down the lane into the trees and sing into the wee hours. I just had to remember to do it softly or make sure my voice would carry away from the house so that I wouldn't wake mom and dad.

I also listened to the radio late at night. Many stations turned down their power at dusk. Once the powers went down, the stations from Winnipeg didn't come in as clearly, but you could scan the dial for far away stations. They weren't always perfectly clear either, but it was interesting to hear what people several hundred miles away were listening to! I had a small portable radio that was about 3"x5"x1". I used to put it right beside my pillow so I could listen to it quietly. I fell asleep listening to the radio more nights than I can count! I also wore out a LOT of batteries! Mom and dad finally bought me a clock radio!

Living in the city, definitely has it's advantages but, I do miss those summer nights of my youth. The sunsets, the walks, star gazing, northern lights, the moonlight and the sounds of nature's night life. I'd love to be able to turn out all the city lights and stop all the traffic and other noises so I could enjoy the night skies and sounds, but since I can't do that, I'll just hope for sweet dreams!

dn

Summer Days

Well it is almost the end of July, and the summer is half over. Here in Manitoba, we haven't had a really normal summer. The temps have actually been below level. We had a cold spring and now a cool summer. Apparently we are on track for a record nine months of below normal temperatures. That doesn't bother me though, as I prefer the weather to be a little cool! I don't do well in anything over about 27C - especially if it is humid.

I've actually been thinking about my summers as a kid and some of my memories of those early years growing up on the farm.

We never really took a summer holiday because that was always the busiest time on the farm with the fields and garden to take care of. We did occasionally take a day trip to my aunt and uncles cottage at Delta or to a nearby lake to enjoy a little beach time or boating. If there was family/friends visiting, then there would be picnics in the town park.

Most of the time, we found our own amusement on the farm. There is a creek that runs through the property, but it really isn't that great for swimming. Since it floods every spring, a lot of branches and other debris are carried down stream. Those things get hung up on reeds, rocks and other stuff under the surface which makes it unsafe for any regular use. Every year after the floods, dad hooked up a pump and garden hose so that he could use the creek for watering the flower beds and the lawn. On really hot days we'd run through the sprinklers for temporary heat relief.

My brother found an old horse watering trough one year and cleaned it up so we could fill it with creek water from the hose, just to sit in and cool off. He put it on top of the cistern (where we stored our potable water). That was on the north side of the house (near the back - northwest corner), so there really wasn't any sun there until the late afternoon sun came around to the west. The trough wasn't that big - maybe about 6 feet long and about 30 inches high/wide. It wasn't in great shape and there was a couple of small holes near the top, so you couldn't fill it really full, but it served the purpose of staying cool! It would comfortably fit two people - one at either end - as long as you didn't mind an occasional kick from the other persons legs.

I spent hours in that old thing! I'd take a book with me and sit in the cool water reading or just listening to music from a portable radio.

It's seems so absurd now, but back in the 1960's and 1970's we would pour on the baby oil or something like Coppertone and then lay roasting in the sun. I rarely spent long periods of time tanning, as my body never liked the heat, but I did get a couple of sunburns and a couple of heat strokes over the years. Those were not fun at all, so I was usually pretty careful not to overdo it.

Finding a nice shady spot to relax was pretty easy as we had lots of big shade trees in the yard, but the mosquito's and other bugs also enjoyed the shade! Even so, I loved taking an old blanket out on the grass and enjoying the breeze and a bit of sun with a book or the radio. I could while away hours listening to the music and watching the clouds role by!

I have vivid memories of sitting on the steps eating big pieces of watermelon and the juice running down my chin. Mom would by cherries (in season) and we'd have spitting contests with the pits. If we had Popsicles or other frozen treats, we were usually sent out to the steps to enjoy them so they wouldn't melt all over the house.

Since I have brown thumbs when it comes to gardening, I wasn't really expected to help in that area very much. Occasionally, mom would have me help her pick vegetables, but my assistance was usually reserved for shelling peas, cutting beans or husking corn. We did go strawberry picking most years. If the Saskatoon's were good, we'd also drive up into the Pembina Hills to pick berries and stop for a picnic along the way. I also helped mom with the canning/freezing of the produce.

We never had air conditioning, so mom would usually close up the house early in the day. She'd draw the curtains on the east side of the house as early as six AM if it looked like a hot day. The windows on the other sides would be closed as the sun came around. Unless there was a breeze, the windows would also be closed. We had two or three box style fans and a couple of oscillating fans that could be moved from room to room, which would help cool things down. There was a fan on the furnace, that could be switched on to draw the cool air up from the basement. That didn't get turned on till late afternoon though, as the house didn't really heat up too bad before then. Whenever possible, any cooking was done early in the day. Sandwiches, salads, cold plates and bar-b-ques were often a part of the summer menu.

When my dad and brother were working in the fields, during seeding and harvest, we made meals to take out to them as they never wanted to have to stop to come in. Good weather and working equipment are precious commodities on a farm - you don't waste them! We'd cook for noon, then take out sandwiches and fruit or a dessert in late afternoon. They often worked till after dark, so there was also a lighter meal waiting when they came in.

The mail was delivered to a mail box three days/week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) about 1/4 mile from the end of our lane. During the summer, I usually walked or biked down for the mail in late morning. If it wasn't too hot, I'd go early and take an extra long walk or ride. There wasn't a lot of traffic on our road, but you did have to pay attention as nearby farm equipment or the wind, could sometimes drown out/distort approaching traffic. Farm vehicles and neighbours would slow down for someone walking/biking or even honk to alert you, but strangers didn't always have that same courtesy, so you had to be ready to pull over into the ditch at a moments notice and watch for loose gravel flying up behind them.

We lived nine miles from town and did most of the shopping there on Saturdays. If we needed something during the week, mom would often go to a little country store in a village about 5 miles away. There had been a town there many years ago, but it gradually died out. I sort of remember my siblings going to a school there and my parents going curling in the rink, but mostly I just remember the little store. It was the only place we ever went that mom never made us get all cleaned up first! We'd wash our faces, necks and hands and make sure there were no stains on the clothes, but other than that, it was a quick trip and if we did run into anybody we knew - besides the store owners - they would also be farmers, so it didn't matter! Going there was always kind of fun as the place was a real throwback to the old stores. There was a bit of everything there. Also, if we behaved, mom would let us get a soft drink, or a fudgesicle before we left!

Summers on the farm seem like a lifetime ago - a far away dream. I never really liked the isolation of the farm. I hated not being able to go somewhere when I wanted to, but I do have some great memories. Even though I was born and raised on a farm, I am a city gal at heart. But, sometimes, I really miss the quiet simplicity of living on a farm.

dn

Christmas In July

"Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a ....."

Wait a minute, that isn't what I meant by Christmas in July! Although, exactly 5 months from tomorrow IS Christmas Day.

You really didn't want to hear that did you! Well it's true. I know most of you haven't started shopping yet and those of you who have, are really annoying to the rest of us!

Christmas In July isn't really that uncommon. Since Christmas is generally considered a winter themed holiday, some countries in the Southern Hemisphere actually do celebrate a second Christmas in July with all the trimmings. The seasons are reversed in southern hemisphere and July is often the coldest month. Australia, is one of the countries where inhabitants take advantage of the cool weather of July to have a full Christmas dinner. For them, December is often far too hot to serve a roast turkey/ham, so salads and cold plates are often on the menu for the actual holiday. Nothing wrong with that menu either, it's just that most people think of a more traditional menu for a Christmas dinner.

In the USA and Canada, Christmas in July is often an excuse to throw a winter themed party as a way of cooling off from the summer heat. There are gifts, cool foods like ice cream and sometimes even Santa makes an appearance! The concept for this mid year celebration is really to embrace the spirit of giving. Some charities use the theme as a fund raiser.

Of course, if you were going to celebrate Christmas in July, you'd have to have some music to play that would be more fitting to the climate than most of the traditional songs that are normally associated with the season. Let's see....

"Marshmallows roasting on an open fire
black flies nipping at you toes
Beach Boys songs being sung by the fire
And folks with sunburn on their nose....."

Okay, I'll keep working on that. Now where was I?

Even Hollywood celebrated this time of the year when it release the 1940 movie "Christmas In July". It is a screwball comedy about a man who believes he won a lot of money in a contest and goes on a shopping spree to buy gifts for friends and family. He even proposes to his girlfriend.

Retailers have been using this as a theme for summer clearance sale since the early 1950's. Some will even decorate the stores! It is a great opportunity to clear out a variety of end of seasons merchandise. They give discounts on the merchandise and even reduce the taxes in some cases. Online retailers and TV shopping networks in the USA and Canada have also jumped on the bandwagon and offer free shipping for orders placed on or around July 25.

"Oh sunscreen Oh Sunscreen
You SPF is 50...."

You know, when you stop and think about it, celebrating Christmas in July isn't that crazy. Granted, you can't build real snowmen, or do the winter sports that most people do. Santa may have a little issue with the runners on his sleigh, but won't have to worry about there being a fire lit in the fire place when he comes down the chimney! You don't have to put on tons of clothes to go outdoors, then roast as you wait in endless checkout lines. There won't be any ice on the highways or blizzards to drive through on the way to grandma's house! If you are tired of the relatives hanging around, then just go outside. You can cook the bird on the grill rather than using the oven. Okay, some people already do that - my sister and brother-in-law, have been doing the bird on a grill rotisserie on the patio in frosty December for years already, but that is partially to free up the oven for other dishes.

So I figure this Christmas in July thing is worth a second look. After all, my parents and a bunch of their friends, had a New Year's Party on Canada Day every year for over twenty years. That started on a bitterly cold New Year's Eve back in the 1970's when someone said why can't we celebrate New Year's in summer when it isn't so miserably cold? They all looked at each other and decided to sign a declaration that from then on they would celebrate New Year's on Canada Day (July 1). It worked great for them.

"It's the slap, happiest time of the year
Countless bugs are attacking
I'd rather be napping
Or drinking a beer
It's the slap, happiest time of the year!"

Some consider celebrating Christmas in July as rushing the seasons. Unless you go full tilt into baking, gifting and decorating, I think it is just a great excuse for another party. The real thing comes soon enough and by September some retailers will already be pulling out the decorations for store displays and for customers to buy. Now THAT is rushing the season!

"On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
12 cans of ale,
11 quarts of ice cream,
10 pairs of sunglasses,
9 cans of bug spray,
8 bottles sun screen,
7 pairs of sandals,
6 big gulp slurpees,
5 iced cappachinos,
4 trashy novels,
3 sun hats,
2 umbrellas,
And a hammock for the back yard!"

Merry Christmas in July!

dn

"Dating In The Dark"

A new show called "Dating In The Dark" is about to debut on ABC tonight and also on A Channel here in Canada.
Here is the premise:
"Dating in the Dark is a unique alternative series that asks the age-old question, "Is Love Blind?" Each week, three single men and three single women, all looking for love, will move into a house together, but be totally sequestered from the opposite sex. While they will have no chance of seeing each other in the light, they will have the opportunity to date in a completely dark room. Looks will be taken out of the equation as the men and women get to know each other and form bonds in total darkness. After several days of dating in the darkroom, the participants will select the one member of the opposite sex that they want to see revealed in the light. For the first time, the participants will see whom they've been dating, wooing, kissing, snuggling with and forming bonds with. And after they see each other in the light for the first time, they have to make the difficult decision...do they stay with the person they fell for in the dark, or leave them behind? Hosted by Rossi Moreale (Can You Duet?, Temptation)."

Oh great, just what we need another excuse to humiliate someone in front of a few million people! From the promos that I have seen, the men and women meet up in the darkened room, then have discussions with the other members of the same sex about there experiences and what may or may not be happening in the dark. Then they also have individual "confessionals" in front of the camera to talk about what they like/don't like about the person and what they would/wouldn't want in a potential partner.

Okay, let's see if I've got this straight.... They spent this time getting to know each other and then after a few days they actually see what the other looks like. Is it still "Love at first sight" or do you want to run for the hills screaming "My eyes! My eyes!"?

How desperate are these people, that they are willing to subject themselves to such scrutiny and in all likelihood humiliation and rejection from someone they got to know "in the dark"?

This isn't exactly a new concept. It has been done on TV series in the past. Back in 1986 - January 6 to be precise - CBS aired an episode of "Kate and Allie" titled "Dark Victory". Kate was headed for a dentist appointment when a power outage occurred. She makes her way to the office, and finds one other person waiting in the dark - a guy with a really nice voice - they start talking. They hit it off wonderfully and agreed to go out on a real date at a later time. When the power came back on, they were both in for a surprise. Kate, who is white, questioned her otherwise liberal values when she realized that she was hesitant to go out with a black man.

I don't have any issues with interracial dating. Been there, done that and would do it again if I liked the guy.

What I have an issue with, is the superficiality of appearance and how society is so quick to judge and reject purely on appearance.

Think about it. We cross paths with strangers constantly - and I'm guessing that if we were all totally honest - that we also judge those people as we pass by. We wonder what that person is really like or how they possibly thought that outfit/style could look good on them. We see couples together and wonder what they could possibly have in common or what they see in each other. We see what is in their cart/basket at the store and make a judgment on what the person is like.

When you take the visual out of the equation, you are forced to listen more closely to what and how something is said. You learn to rely on your instincts rather than your observations of the person and perceived external imperfections.

Back in the golden age of radio, people used their imaginations to fill in the pieces for the countless programs that aired. Unless you saw a newsreel in the theater or a photo in a magazine, you didn't know what someone on the radio looked like.

I read an article once about legendary jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald. She had won a talent contest as a teen, but was also told that she was too ugly to ever have a career in music! Luckily for us she never listened to those critics and went on to have a hugely successful career with countless hits and millions of fans.

It isn't that long ago that people actually did get to know each other through letters. They sometimes sent along a photo but you never knew if it was a recent photo or was even really that person. Some people still get to know each other through Internet dating sites. Not everyone is honest or forthcoming when it comes to their bio - let alone what they look like!

How many of us have talked to someone on the phone or gotten to know each other through letters/emails? We don't always get to see what the other person looks like, but you form a connection with them through what they have shared.

Meeting that person can be terrifying. What if they are not at all what you imagined or worse yet they reject you because of how you look in real life.

I've been there and done that too. About 15 years ago, I tried a new phone intro service that was offered here in the city. I was looking more for friendship than romance. I agreed to three meetings over coffee in very public areas - mall food courts. We gave just enough descriptions of ourselves so that we could be recognized and a code word to be sure it was the same person. Only one guy actually came and sat with me and he turned out to be married!

As for the other two, well I strongly suspect that they didn't like what they saw and beat a hasty, cowardly retreat rather than spending 15 minutes with someone they didn't think of as attractive enough to be seen with them. Their loss. Yes, it hurt, but, at the same time, I really wasn't that surprised. I'm not going to hide the way I look just to satisfy the superficiality of society. If people can't accept me for who I am on the outside, then why would I possibly want to let them know who is on the inside? I don't need the hassle.

Whether they admit it or not, people are far too focused on the visual to really pay attention to what is on the inside.

Until the advent of TV, there really wasn't a huge emphasis on the overall appearance of how anyone looked. It has only intensified over the years - to the point of ridiculousness if you ask me. I don't care how well you take care of yourself or what your "beauty regime" entails. The reality is that beauty fades and becomes less important as a relationship progresses. It isn't the exterior that holds people together - it is what is on the inside. The common bonds that unite people in friendships and if you are really lucky - a deep and unconditional love that lasts no matter what nature and genes dictate.

Those of us who are visually impaired/blind have an advantage in that respect. Because we can't really see the detail of who we are with, it is easier to concentrate on really getting to know who the other person is. Sure we are curious as to what the other really looks like, but it isn't going to end the relationship because of what they look like.

Don't get me wrong, not all sighted people are that superficial, but it is harder for them to take the external out of the equation. In that respect, I can see where this show is coming from.

When it comes to dating and reality TV, I guess that "Dating In The Dark" would be considered new and different, but I have a hard time believing that this is going to make anyone see how superficial society really is. All it is going to do is hurt a few seemingly nice guys and gals who are searching for love. My guess is that at least a couple of people will wish they never had to have seen the light of day. They may say they will not be so judgmental in the future, but old habits die hard.

If I thought that this show could be done with taste and actually show people how superficial society has become, then I might be willing to give it a chance. However, I'm afraid this is just one more opportunity to embarrass and humiliate people for the sake of a few laughs and better ratings. It is bad enough to be rejected in real life for what the other person considers a visual imperfection such as too tall/short, skinny/stalky, or just a fashion disaster, but to do it in front of millions of viewers, shows a whole new level of desperation for both the network and the participants.

I have no desire to see this dating experience played out on TV as a supposed form of entertainment.

"Dating In The Dark"? No thanks. Been there. Done that in real life.

dn

Memories of Camp Koinonia in the 1970's

Last July, I wrote a series of three posts on my experiences working at a summer camp on Max Lake near Boissevain, Manitoba. ( Part one, part two, part three ) I loved spending time at Camp Koinonia. It was a peaceful place to spend time with Mother Nature and get to know interesting new people.

Most of the work that I did there was as an assistant cook. There was no air conditioning, so it could get rather hot in that kitchen from time to time. We tried to plan our menus with the weather in mind, but it didn't always work in our favour. We were lucky, though that a lot of our food prep could be done in the early morning - before it started to get too hot. The kitchen staff was usually able to take a couple of hours off in the afternoon to avoid the hottest part of the day.

One of the things that I remember about the cooking is that we had a HUGE cauldron like pot that we could cook with over an outdoor fire pit. We used it at least a couple of times a week for popping corn for a campfire snack or to cook a one pot meal. I recall taking turns stirring chili, sloppy jo's or something called "Koinonia Special".

"Koinonia Special" was similar to a chili, with ground beef, onions and spices, but instead of beans and tomato sauce, it had canned vegetable soup, canned spaghetti and beans of some kind - kidney I think. I know it sounds a little weird and even a bit disgusting, but it actually tasted pretty good once it had simmered for awhile and all the spices were added! I don't recall the whole recipe and it has been about 25 years since I even made a small batch let alone enough to feed 60 - 70 people! I'm not really sure how the recipe even came to be, but my guess is that someone had to get creative when they were running low on supplies. You improvise and do the best you can with what you have. Sometimes it works out really well and becomes a favourite! I know the campers always enjoyed it and there was never any left overs!

Going out in a canoe was something I always enjoyed as long as the water wasn't too rough. There is something very tranquil about dipping your paddle silently through a glass like surface of water. Singing was often a part of the fun on the water. It was a wonderful way to hear the harmonies of a few voices echo off the water. One of the songs that I remember singing was called "The Sweetest Song" When we sang this on the lake, we would switch the word mountain to water. It was really beautiful in three part harmony! I don't know who wrote this song, but here are the words as I had them written from long, long ago!

THE SWEETEST SONG

Chorus:
The sweetest song we ever sang
Out across the mountains rang
Peace on Earth, good will to man
The sweetest song of all

1.

Love is a mighty thing,
Yet it's such a very simple thing
The joy and happiness it brings
For you and me and all

2.
Peace is a rainbow thing
Hallelujahs let us sing
All the colours join and bring
The white dove on the wing

3.
Help dry a child's tears
And calm a frightened strangers fears
Make this my purpose through the years
To love my brother's all

In the second post that I wrote last year, I talked about the time that we had our campfire on the water. Here is what I said:

"My all time favourite camp fire happened the summer of '77. Some of the staff rigged up a tin metal platform on a pontoon. They attached wire handles to the sides and then hooked long ropes on the handles. On top of it they built up a large amount of wood for the campfire. Just before sunset, all the staff and campers gathered at the canoe dock. We all put on life jackets and I think there were about two staff and two campers/canoe. About 14 or 15 canoes in total if I recall. We paddled out onto the lake and then proceeded to rope all the canoes end to end in a large circle. The log laden pontoon was positioned in the middle and the long ropes reached back to the canoes so we could constantly adjust it's position in the middle of the lake. Before the last boat tied in to the circle, they paddled in to light the campfire.

We sang for over an hour that night as we all oowed and awed at the spectacular effects of the fire on water! The sounds of our harmonious voices were also reflected off the crystal calm water. It really was one of the most memorable nights of my life."

I found an old photo of that night and here is what it looked like from the canoe that I was in:

Oh what memories! Sometimes I wish I was that young again - or at least that I had the opportunities to go out and enjoy nature the way I used to. I miss the peacefulness of the early morning, the quiet contemplation of a walk through the trees, the gentle lapping of the water along the dock or against the canoe.

Most of all I miss the late night singing and companionship by a campfire. Somehow it was easier to let yourself go and be really honest as the burning logs crackle, the flames flicker and dance in the dark, then gradually become glowing embers. No matter how you had spent the day, you just felt relaxed and at peace with everything in your little corner of the world.

"Fire’s burning fire’s burning

draw nearer draw nearer

in the glowing in the glowing

come sing and be merry."

dn

Cleaning Up

I cleaned my apartment the other day. Not that that is an unusual occurrence, I clean it on a regular basis.

I sweep and hit the high spots as needed or when I'm expecting company. I do a more thorough cleaning every two weeks. That means getting out the rags, cleaners and pail. I sweep, dust, clean the mirrors and glass surfaces, then clean the bathroom and wash the floor with a rag on my hands and knees. I do own a mop, but it just doesn't get into corners the way you can with you hand and a rag. Generally, it takes me about an hour and a half from the time I take out the broom till everything is back in its' place. It isn't like I have a huge home to clean as it is just under 500 sq. ft. - or that I'm a slob - I just don't look forward to doing it.

Then again, who except the Bree Van de Kamp's and Felix Unger's of the world really do look forward to cleaning?

If I lived with other people, had pets or entertained a lot - then I would have to clean more often. Since I live alone, I can wait till the dust bunnies start to build condos under the coffee table or draw smiley faces and write "Dust me" on the shelves if I want to!

When I was a kid, I'd help my mom clean the house every Saturday . My job was to clean my bedroom and the one bathroom in the house. It wasn't much fun but it had to be done. It is one thing to clean up your own mess, but having to clean up other peoples messes can be really disgusting. Why is it, that other people's messes and dirt always seem more gross than your own?

Let's get something straight here. I'm not a neat freak - but I'm also not a slob. Granted, my place wouldn't pass a white glove test, but I pick up after myself, rinse the dishes after I use them and wipe my feet before entering a building. In my younger years, I had roommates who fit both categories and neither one were fun to live with. The neat freak would clean my desk to the point that I couldn't find anything when I came back into the room five minutes later. The slob, on the other hand, had no concept of what hangers or a laundry hampers were for, let alone how to rinse a dish!

Cleaning is one of those necessary evils - I mean chores! We do it so that we aren't living in pig pens. We do it to present a good image to those who come to call. Most of all we do it for our own sanity.

There is a satisfied feeling you get after the home is cleaned. If you are lucky, it will last for more than five minutes. If you are really lucky, you have a housekeeper that does the cleaning for you!

Speaking of which, weren't we supposed to be living in self cleaning homes by the millennium? At least that is what I remember hearing back in the 1960's. We were all supposed to have our own Rosie the Robot by now. We were supposed to be able to press a button or give a command and the home would automatically start a self cleaning process. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, scrubbing and so on. I guess the great predictors kind of blew that one. Okay, so they have come up with the "roomba" that little vacuum that maneuvers on it's own BUT it can't get into nooks and crannies or handle stairs, so there is still some cleaning that has to be done by a human. It does only half the job, so doesn't seem like a great deal to me. Granted, we also have dishwashers, but you have to rinse the stuff before you load it and then put everything away after it is done. Shouldn't the dishes put themselves away? I don't even own a vacuum or a dishwasher!

Oh well, back to the drawing board - I mean cleaning.

There have been a few times in the past that I have had to have a cleaning person come in and do the work for me due to post surgery restrictions. As much as I appreciated having someone else do it for me, it still felt a little weird to have someone else cleaning my mess. I can't help but wonder what they really think, as they dust your stuff or clean your bathroom. I actually know several people who have admitted to doing some "cleaning up" before the cleaning service arrives so that the place doesn't look so bad. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? I mean, really - if you're going to pay someone to actually come to your home and clean - then make them work for it!

Over the years, I have known several people who have done cleaning as a profession. The stories they could tell! Made me feel like my little corner of the world was impeccably clean even before I cleaned!

One of the reasons that I dislike cleaning is that I have to be really careful with what products I use. I am very sensitive to chemicals and scents that are often found in these products. I had to wear a mask and gloves for awhile and also did hire someone to clean for me for a year or so. I left while she cleaned so that the smells wouldn't bother me.

It took me a long time to find products that I could use that didn't make me wheeze, sneeze and gasp for fresh air.

For several years, I used the products from Orange Clean. They did a fantastic job of cleaning and left my apartment smelling like oranges! The super concentrate of the Orange Clean has become next to impossible to find here in Canada though. There are a lot of imitators out there that claim to do the same as Orange Clean, but they are either laced with chemicals or are ridiculously expensive and not nearly as concentrated or effective as the original. So for a year or so I was using only Oxi Clean for my general cleaning.

Oxi Clean is one of the best products I have ever found for multi purpose use. You can use it instead of bleach and it doesn't leave that horrible smell or damage fabrics the way regular bleaches can. Just add a scoop to every load of laundry. I dilute a scoop of it in about 2 litres of hot tap water, then pour slowly into the toilet bowl. Let it stand for about 15-20 minutes, then scrub and flush as with other products. Works like a charm! I've used it as an all purpose surface cleaner and also to wash the floor when I'm out of other products.

For glass surfaces, mirrors and windows, I use a solution of 1 part white vinegar to 2 parts water. I keep it in a spray bottle so it is always at the ready. For dusting a damp cloth works as well as anything. I've also used old sweat socks - yes, I washed them first! Dampen them, then put one on each hand to dust twice as fast! Try it - it works great!

For cleaning the bathroom and washing the floors, I can always use Oxi Clean. There are lots of environmentally friendly products available nowadays, but a lot of them are also outrageously expensive. For the last year or so, I have been using Ecover All Purpose Cleaner. It has a nice light lemon fragrance. A 33.8 ounce bottle is about $6 at a local organic market. It isn't the cheapest on the market but considering that you only use a cap full (a bit more than an ounce) for 4 litres of water (which is enough to do my bathroom and floors), it really isn't too bad. I don't think it cleans quite as well as the Orange Clean, but it is the best I've found so far.

So, that is how I clean. A self cleaning apartment would be really nice, but short of a miracle or finding a guy who likes to clean, I guess I'm on my own. Oh well, I can dream......

dn