Saturday, March 29, 2008


Negativity is extremely exhausting, but some people seem to thrive on it. In the last month, I've had three negative encounters on line. One was on the game site that I sometimes post on and the other two were on the Y&R wiki.
In early March, a wiki member, that I'll call "J" posted this statement; "F do you agree with everything that S says. she seems to agree to disagree with most things that is written."

A number of us came to our friends defense. Here is what I said;
"If that comment was meant with even half the spite that it sounded like, then you need to chill out. F does not always agree with everyone including S They are like minded on many issues, but good friends often are. We are all supportive of our friends - even if we disagree. She is respectful and allows herself to see things from both sides and therefore agree to a point with many posters - an admirable quality. This is an open forum for fans to discuss and agree to disagree. If you or anyone else is going to throw direct insults at the people you disagree with then perhaps you should consider finding another playground. This is a community of people who are respectful of all opinions - even IF we disagree."

I posted this comment after "S" thanked me; "thanks s. Not everyone likes to play nice and obviously someone peed in j's porridge. Actually there was a similar type attack last Wednesday to a well known poster on a games forum that I sometimes post on. The remarks were cruel and uncalled for. At least 10 of us posted comments in support of our much loved and respected friend. He choose to remain silent other than to thank us the following day at the end of his game review for that day. The point is that whether we know the person in real life or just on line, we stand up and support the people we care about when someone takes unjust shots. 'Cuz that's what friends are for!!"

My friend "F" posted thank yous to us the next day and explained that she hadn't wanted to create havoc on the site that night as "J" may have been lurking and waiting to make more snide remarks. I posted the following; "I think you handled the situation very well. That person may well have been lurking and that kind of negativity is exhausting, depressing and unnecessary. Consider it as a cosmic test that you passed with flying colours. Have some chocolate and know that your real friends will always be there to back you up and love you whether we all agree or not. It wasn't necessary to thank all of us as we know that you'd have been there for us. Thanking us was just one more example of the classy broad that you are!"

Well early Friday morning someone else took a pot shot at my friend and two of us posted remarks that it was uncalled for. The negative Nellie basically told us to mind our own business and leave them alone!
Excuse me? This is a public forum. Negative comments on story lines is one thing, but to personally attack members is uncalled for.

I try not to be drawn into negativity. I liken it to a leach that gradually sucks the goodness out of you. When you meet people in person, you can usually get a pretty good feel for their attitude. Meeting people on line is quite another matter. For the most part the wiki and the games forum have been very welcoming and supportive communities and it saddens me that a few choose to be such wet blankets.

It isn't always easy, but I try to surround myself with positive energy and good karma. If a friend is having a bad day or going through a rough patch, I want to be there to be supportive. However if you are being negative for the sake of being negative then please do us all a favour - find another playground!

How some people get their exercise;
1) Jumping to conclusions
2) Sidestepping responsibility
3) Pushing their luck
4) Running down other people

Apparently it takes 27 facial muscles to frown and only 7 to smile. I'm all for getting exercise, but I'd rather get that workout by laughing and enjoying the people around me.


leelu said...

I wish you could put this in the newspaper for more people to read! Indeed, some people like to fight with people they don't even know. Kinda sorta takes the fun out of it... dontcha think? ;)

dnsyl57 said...

thank you leelu. I know our mutual friend has gotten a lot of support from others on the wiki the last few days. We are part of a very special community and if one is attacked, we line up to support our friends.

I am a pacifist and generally choose to stay away from the negativity. If I must be drawn in, then I choose the kindest yet most direct route to express that the actions are not acceptable. ie; support the friend and try not to antagonize the other person further.

I don't understand why people feel that need to be so cruel. Karma will get them eventually and as I write this, that person hasn't said anything since. Hope they stay silent.

As for publishing, well this is as close as I come my dear friend, but please feel free to send a link to the page/site to anyone you feel may be interested! Thanks for being so supportive!


Sandy said...

Thank you so much for your views on negativity. leelu is right, it should be published for all to see. It is just what I needed today and I intend to share the link with others. And you are absolutely right about Karma!


dnsyl57 said...

thanks Sandy, I'm a big believer in Karma. Nice to hear from new readers and please feel free to pass the blog address on to others and I hope you visit again!