Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Love At First Sight

Okay, I've told you that I believe in reincarnation, soul mates and telepathy - but how about "love at first sight"? Well that is a different matter. I used to see much more than I do now, but even back in the day, I never really put much stock in love at first sight. To me it was always the old adage of you can't judge a book by it's cover so how can you judge a person? I trust my internal instincts to give me a sense of who the person is on the inside.

If everyone in my life believed in love at first sight, then I wouldn't have many people in my life. I certainly would not have had most of the romantic relationships that I've had if the guy only looked at the outside. I would have to request a vision test and a mental examination of any guy who claimed "love at first sight" when he saw me! My external packaging is not the most flattering to put it politely. But the people who have looked past that and taken the time to see who is inside are the people who love me for me and that is real love.

If there is such a thing as love at first sight, then how does that work for those of us who are blind or visually impaired? Think about it - we can't really see the details, so HOW would we know that it was love at first sight?

Maybe it should be "love at first instinct"?

Maybe we are supposed to take the phrase figuratively rather than literally. Even so, that still leaves the question open doesn't it?

You can instinctively know that you feel a connection - that you care and want to know this person better. But "love" is a bit of an exaggeration! People change over time and it is highly doubtful that they will look the same as they age. We all "see" external looks in a different way. What is appealing to one may not be to another - and we also judge others on their appearance.

As much as I truly miss being able to really see what the people in my life look like, sometimes that is actually an advantage as you look past the cover and take a look inside.

None of us are the same as we were when we were teenagers and falling in love for the first time. It's often humorous to look back and try and figure out what we were thinking.Personally, I believe that the best love and the longest lasting love, comes over time as we get to know each other and see through the initial infatuation and facade that we each project to a potential love interest. This can also apply to a friendship that slowly turns to love - sometimes without us even realizing that our feelings are changing and growing. A friend sees us in good and bad times and puts up with all our faults. If that person can love you in spite of all your faults, then take a closer look as you may have found the real love of your life.



leelu said...

This is such a wonderful post. Indeed, the one time I fell in love at first sight, I was in 7th grade. I had the biggest crush imaginable for the next 6 years! Then one day years later, when I was dating my now-husband and that old crush was married, we met again. And he proceeded to send me not-so-kosher emails! He thought, since he knew about my crush, that he could have me behind his wife's back! Clearly, love at first sight was way off - and I learned my lesson that you really need to get to know a person. That old crush has been divorced 3 times now! And he's only 37! I am convinced, we have divorce because people still buy into this dangerous Disney-movie idea of love at first sight....

dnsyl57 said...

thanks girl! It always looks so easy and romantic in books and movies - but then reality rears it's ugly head and off come the rose coloured glasses. Unfortunately not everyone is as smart as you and I!!

I'll take a "friendship to love" over "love at first sight" ANY DAY!!